I Love Playin' With Fire

The girls of the rock band The Runaways are on a tour of the U.S. in the mid-1970s. Right now, their roadies are moving their equipment into the building so they can practice. Cherie Currie, the lead singer and blonde bombshell, her whitish platinum blonde hair glistening brighter than the Led Zeppelin album Houses of the Holy, is on stage practicing her dance moves. She practices a new move where she throws the microphone between her legs and catches it in front of her body, a humble suggestion by The Runaways' manager. Quite showy and suggestive, but she's happy to do it if she can. So far, however, she cannot and she keeps dropping the microphone on the ground. A frustrated Cherie yells out violent curses for the entire building to hear after the thud of the microphone hitting the stage.

While Cherie constantly swears at her frequent failures, Joan Jett, waiting for her rhythm guitar to arrive, runs up to the other microphone on stage, chewing bubblegum. With a swift motion, she grabs the microphone with her right hand and brings her lips up to the metal. Now, the entire building can hear her as she yells through the microphone:

Joan: FUCKKK... DOGSHITTT...

Joan emphasizes the last letters to give the full effect. Suddenly, lead guitarist Lita Ford and drummer Sandy West both with long blonde hair enter the room with water guns. Sandy throws a gun to Joan. Joan catches it in midair and does a gun twirl around her index finger. Sandy then starts spraying Joan's black leather jacket and Joan screams. Joan sprays Lita and Sandy as Lita fires back. The girls run around the room and try to find cover behind tables, chairs, or their roadies. Water splashes onto Cherie's red jumpsuit, and an infuriated Cherie jumps off the stage to pick up an extra gun and fire back in anger.

The last member, Jackie Fox, kneels by her prized Gibson Thunderbird bass guitar just after she carefully sets it on its stand. She looks over at the other girls running around and screaming with a terrified look. They must not spray at her shiny guitar! But, Joan cannot help herself. She fires at Jackie and the water splashes a little on the Gibson as Jackie screams. Jackie's dark brown hair as thick and prominent as Stevie Nicks quickly becomes drenched in water.

Jackie: Hey! [gets up, moves out of the way of her guitar] What do you think you're doing?!

Lita: Hey, Foxy [sprays Jackie]!

Jackie: [screams, jumps towards the last spare water gun].

With Jackie armed and dangerous, the girls continue firing at each other, running around, and using cover. They run throughout the entire building and disrupt their roadies trying to move equipment. Luckily, the roadies are used to this behavior.

Jackie: Hey, don't spray my face! My makeup's gonna get messed up!

Cherie: [sprays Jackie's face].

Joan: [sprays Jackie's face].

Suddenly, the girls forget that a reporter from the local newspaper has arrived to interview them. The reporter walks in and talks to one of the roadies. After a few minutes, the girls run into the room, still firing at each other and screaming.

Reporter: [looks at the girls with an infuriated look] Oh, my God! [looks back at the roadie] Who are they? What is this? Why do you let these girls run all around the studio with this expensive equipment? Where are The Runaways?!

Roadie: [clears throat] That's The Runaways.

Reporter: [eyeballs pop out] That's The Runaways?

Cherie: [screams].

Roadie: Uh huh.

Reporter: Those little girls? They're actually teenagers? You know girls shouldn't be doing this, right?

Roadie: Doesn't matter to me, I still get paid.

Reporter: Well, someone's gotta run the show around here and get these girls under control. I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

Roadie: Hey, you got any kids?

Reporter: A little girl, why?

Roadie: Because you won't be able to control her attitude in about 13 years. You can't do anything about it, because it's The Runaways who run the show around here, and it's The Runaways who decide how the show goes down.

Reporter: Yeah, whatever.

The reporter tries walking up to the girls to get their attention while dodging their shots. Finally, out of breath, the girls calm down and gather around. Their makeup is all ruined. Jackie is devastated. First, it was her guitar, now it was her ruined makeup and her drenched new clothes. The reporter conducts his interview, but Joan quickly gets infuriated.

Reporter: What did you girls do before the band?

Joan: Uh, some of us babysat.

Reporter: Oh, well, what did you do when the kids misbehaved?

Cherie: ...

Joan: [smiles] We would slap their hands [laughs].

Reporter: You know, you girls shouldn't be doing this. Rock 'n' roll and all this, it's not very ladylike.

Joan stops laughing and the girls are taken aback. They glare at the reporter with hatred. Joan puts her arm around Jackie and looks at her. Jackie looks back at Joan.

Joan: Your makeup looks great now.

Jackie: Huh?

Joan: How does mine look?

Joan's makeup is messed up even worse than Jackie's. Joan's heavy black eyeshadow droops all over her cheeks.

Jackie: It looks like you're wearing an ink blot test on your face.

Joan: [laughs] Oh, yeah? What about Lita's?

Jackie: Looks like she walked through a hurricane conducting a driveby on Normandie.

Lita: [chuckles].

Joan: [chuckles, smiles] Do you like playing with fire?

Jackie: I Love Playin' With Fire.

Joan lets go of Jackie, looks at the reporter and points the water gun at him. The rest of the girls follow suit.

Reporter: What are you doing?!

Joan: All stations, prepare to fire at will.

Sandy: Roger roger.

The girls pump their water guns and fire at the reporter's face.

Reporter: Ahh! Hey!

The reporter runs for the door, but the girls run after him.

Cherie: Get him!

Sandy: Yeahh!!!

Lita: Not ladylike? I can play like Ritchie Blackmore, note for note! Bet you can't even pee straight standing up!

Sandy: I can drum like John Bonham!

Joan: I can scream like Suzi Quatro and I'm as bad as the Ramones!

Cherie: I can put on a show like David Bowie!

Jackie: I can... uh...

Joan: You can ace all our general education tests [puts arm around Jackie, smiles]!

Jackie: Uh, yeah! ...

Outside, the reporter runs off. The girls shout curses and slurs at him until he is out of sight. Then the girls cheer.

Joan: What a dipstick! We play our own instruments! We write our own songs! We decide how we play!

Lita: Yeah, man!

Jackie: Now he's definitely gonna burn us in his article.

Sandy: It doesn't matter. We still got the band. We still got each other. We still got great fans!

Cherie: Yeah! None of that matters. They can't kill us. Runaways never die.