I Just Can't Win!

Volume 1: Chapter 1 - Calculated Strike

"Oh! You're Katsuhira Kazuomi-kun from Fujitama Academy, aren't you?"

"And you're Shirase Yumina from Kougyoku, right?"

"Yep, that's me. Nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you..."

Her bright smile looked friendly, but her guard was up.

It was my first day in high school, but I suddenly found myself talking to the so-called "idol" of our neighboring middle school back then.

Of course, I didn't have to wonder how I got here. I deliberately made a series of conscious decisions that led up to this situation.

Let's dial it back to when I was walking with my friends to school a little while ago.

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April 7th, Monday.

"Isn't that wild though?!"

"Well, if you put it that way..."

Hiro is as enthusiastic as always. Meanwhile, Keisuke listened to his ramblings with genuine interest. 

I trailed behind my friends as I went into deep thought. We never agreed whether we'd go to school together, but we still met each other on the way by sheer coincidence.

Coincidence, huh...?

Coincidences are amazing, aren't they? Your classmate turned out to be that one kid you became friends with a decade ago. The senpai from your club turned out to have been acquainted with one of your relatives. Your crush, who's also the school idol, actually lives right beside your apartment room— those kinds of bullshit.

With coincidences, the possibilities are practically endless. As long as it doesn't break the laws of physics or bend reality, anything can happen!

Well, the chances for those conveniently positive coincidences to occur when you're looking for them are practically non-existent. I'd say that it's less likely to happen than winning the lottery!

What? Did some of those coincidences happen to you? Die then, you lucky bastard! I hope the chances of you stubbing your toe against a hard place go up to a hundred percent instead!

"What in the world are you thinking about, Kazu-chan? You're making an incredibly suspicious face," said Hiro.

"Hey, Hiro. Wouldn't it be nice if you could plant a chip inside everyone's heads and have the button to blow them up whenever you want?" I asked.

"You... That's... actually a decent idea."

"Right? Do you know how much this shitty world can advance if we purge all of the stupid ones to hell with that device?"

"Holy shit! Interstellar travel would be within our reach!"

"Creating a Dyson sphere won't be just a pipe dream anymore!"

Keisuke held his forehead in annoyance as he listened to us.

"I agree that this world has a surplus of idiots, but how can we accurately judge who's stupid or not?" he asked. "Should we prioritize ignorance over lack of intelligence? Should we care about their potential to change? What about their personality and morals?"

"Oh, you're right. We have to be specific about the kinds of idiots we'll have to include in our purge list," I answered with a smirk. "We'll have to create detailed rules and criteria to make sure we don't accidentally purge important geniuses."

Yep, this was a perfectly normal morning conversation for us. Keisuke can only blame himself for making us binge a bunch of sci-fi movies yesterday.

"Haha, you're finally getting it, Kei-chan!" Hiro laughed and put his arm around Keisuke.