Physical Touch (Love Language Series #4)

Prologue

“Thank you so much for the safe flight last week, Captain Ramos.”

I immediately smiled at Capt. Salgado, my co-pilot sitting on my right. “No worries,”

Umalpas din sa kaniya ang isang ngiti. “May sakit ang asawa ko no’n kaya hindi ako masyadong nakapag-focus sa trabaho. Salamat talaga at ikaw ang kasama ko.”

Last week on our flight to New York, halata ang pagiging balisa niya bago pa man kami mag-biyahe pero ako lang yata ang nakapansin noon. Nang lumipad naman na kami ay parang wala siya sa sarili. Mabuti na lang at naka-land din kami nang maayos.

From Manila, we’re now heading back to Tokyo and this will be my last flight for this month. Nakaka-miss ang Pilipinas kaya napagdesisyunan kong magbakasyon muna pagkatapos nito. Bumibisita lang ako sa Pinas at umaabot lang ng hanggang tatlong araw ang pinakamatagal kong pamamalagi roon dahil gusto kong palaging bumibiyahe.

When we switched, I immediately got out of the cockpit and entered the cabin. The cabin crews greeted me with a smile. Some of the passengers did the same while the others were just staring at me like they were thunderstruck.

I’m visiting here to check every passenger. This is just a normal thing for me and I’ve been doing this ever since day one of my job.

Baka kasi biglang makita ko siya rito. Ilang taon ko na nga ba siyang hindi nakikita? Tatlo? Apat? Lima?

Her old social media accounts were either deleted or deactivated. I tried searching if she has new accounts but there were no things leading me to her. Seems she really did that ‘social media detox’ and even ended her ‘public figure self’. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit niya ginawa ‘yon dahil bigla na lang siyang hindi nagparamdam. Wala kaming proper closure at hindi ko alam kung kami pa ba.

Kaya parati akong lumilipad. At sa lipad na ‘to? Seems she’s not here. Magpapahinga na lang siguro ako.

Buo na ang loob kong dumiretso sa crew rest compartment para sana magnakaw ng oras para matulog nang biglang umatras ang lahat ng mga plano ko.

My foot didn’t move even an inch like it was stuck in the floor and my whole body seemed to be frozen instantly when I saw a familiar girl sitting at the window seat slightly over the wings.

Christ, I’ve been wishing for this moment for all of my life ever since I lost her.

At balak kong kapag nangyari ito, I would touch, hug, and kiss her with all my might just to be enough to tell her I miss her so much.

Pero bakit hindi ako makakilos ngayon? Bakit lahat ng plano ko’y nagsialisan sa utak at katawan ko?

She was just there, sitting silently while watching how the clouds walked freely outside. Her hair was just hanging and as well her bangs that were eating her eyes.

Nagpa-bangs siya? Kailan pa kaya? Hindi naman siya nagba-bangs.

I examined her in how I viewed her right now. She was wearing a simple red hoodie. Hindi ko makita ang pambaba niya. Her rose red eyes don’t look the same because there were no sparks or twinkles left in it. But her lips seemed to be softer and it’s more pinkish. She’s not wearing any lip tint or lipstick. It’s the natural look of her lips.

Her mind seemed to be busy with a lot of things because she didn’t notice that a flight attendant was already asking her something.

Ano kaya ang iniisip niya? Kasama pa rin kaya ako roon? Kung hindi, iisipin ko na lang na kasama ako.

When she didn’t reply five times, the flight attendant decided to tap her in the shoulder.

And I saw how she reacted to it in the most confusing way that it can.

Animo’y gumalaw ang buong kalamnan niya nang dahil doon. Daglian niya pang naisiksik ang sarili palayo sa flight attendant. When she looked at her, there was a mix of fear, shock, and anxiety that was written on her wide eyes.

What’s the matter?

“I’m sorry, Ma’am. Are you okay?” nagulat na saad ng flight attendant.

She nodded slowly while shaking a bit. Her lips were also quivering like it was cold. She swallowed so hard and seemed it was a difficult thing for her to withdraw herself.

The flight attendant left here to go into the next line of seat. She followed her with her eyes and I didn’t know how to react when our eyes touched each other. While looking at her, a lot of questions bombarded me.

If I just hold her tighter and pull her closer to me, will she still be here in my arms? Hindi niya kaya ako iiwan sa ere? Kung bumalik lang ako, babalikan niya kaya ako?

I got my senses back when she stood up from her seat, it seemed she’ll go to the lavatory at the back.

I got it now. She’s avoiding me. Just like what she did years ago. Tatalon na ba ako?

Dahil sa pagmamadali, mukhang hindi niya nakita ang parating na isa pang flight attendant at nagkabungguan sila. Mabuti na lamang at tissue lang ang dala nito na agad namang humingi ng pasensiya sa kaniya. Hindi niya ito pinansin at nangapa sa sahig na wari’y may nahulog sa kaniya.

I lowered my head because of pain. And there, I saw a little bottle. Mukhang lalagyan ‘yon ng gamot pero hindi ko naman nabasa ang nakasulat doon dahil nga medyo malayo sa paningin ko at maliliit ang mga letra. That’s why I kneeled down to get it. But before I did that, someone immediately snatched it from my hands.

Napako ako roon. Not because I was surprised, but because our fingers made an interaction that gives me a million thunderbolts.

I stood up to see her but I was late.

Seems I need to go back to the cockpit to make sure that someone in this flight will land safely.