Sometimes I wish my mum was dead

Emotional damage

I got up and cried today I don't know what for but well I know why I just don't want to live in my family home anymore I feel like I can't do anything with her breathing down my neck I don't want my social life to involve around my mother I don't think that's right it's not even more of a social life it's more of I want some independence I feel like I would have once she dies it's bad to say but I constantly think about her dying and I don't feel bad. I even think about committing suicide a lot and I smile at that does that make me crazy ? Probably but that's just how I feel a trapped black 27 year old women 😂.