For Me

Charlie

I met my boyfriend through my ex-boyfriend. They are brothers. My boyfriends name is Andy and my exes name is Charlie.

Charlie and I met at a cafe that I used to work at in London. He looked like complete shit when he showed up there. I thought he was crazy. I offered him breakfast and took the time to listen to him.

I fell in love with Charlie almost instantly. He was confident, trusting, and gorgeous. I wasn't myself when I met him.

I wanted to impress him, so I tried to be more mature and more intelligent than I am. I'm not saying that I'm not the brightest, but I am blonde. I have my moments.

Over time, after I moved to LA with him and his brother, Charlie got to see the real me. I was tired of not being myself. The truth is that I'm loud, can be obnoxious, I'm very needy, and I don't always think before I act or say something. I crave attention.

This got to Charlie. Sometimes he'd run off for the day to the bookstore or the park. He'd avoid me. Apparently I annoyed him.

Sometimes I couldn't tell if he really loved me or if he was just with me to be with me. It confuses me more now than when we were actually together. Now he wants me. He actually wants to be around me, but he didn't when he was with me.

He's begged me on several occasions to get back with him. But I can't. I can't do that to myself again. Our relationship was far from perfect. And who's to say he wouldn't go back to his old ways?

I love Charlie. I always have and always will, but it is not our time. It's far from our time.