For Me

Not a Kennedy

So, I found out today that I am not a Kennedy. My father passed away a couple days ago from a heart attack. Mother thought it was time to tell me that I was adopted.

I was confused, angry, and I felt betrayed when she told me. My first question was, "why the hell tell me now?" The second was, "why did my real parents give me up?"

She said that they live in Florida. They used to live in Finland, but moved to the states after they gave me up to my parents. So, I guess I still am Finnish, but not that it matters.

Andy asked me if I wanted to visit them. I just shrugged. I don't know if I really do want to see them.

What if they don't like me? Do I look like him or her? Do I have siblings? Will they accept all the wrong I've done? Will they accept all of my flaws?

I'm scared. Scared of what they'll think of me. My biggest fear is being rejected, again. They rejected me at birth. Why?

They sent me away. I grew up with a decent family. It could've been worse, but how different would my life be if they would've kept me?

WHY?

I can't stop asking that, why? Why? Why?