Disclaimer : Please remember to re-read Chapter 3 before diving into this next chapter. You might discover something new...
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Friday 14/09 : Wen's thoughts
A string of light wakes me up. It's probably too early. My eyes won't open. I snuggle in my sheets, feeling the worn-out fabric wrapping around me.
A shiver rolls down my spine, opening my gaze to the world. Stains everywhere. The floor looks more disgusting than ever. I roll on my other side. Another day.
What was this feeling building up inside my stomach? Last night's dinner? I had none. No. I know that feeling too well. But today it's unbearable. My breathing is heavy. Dust is filling my lunges, making me cough like a dying man.
I fell in love, and it is the worst thing that could happen to me. My body ache just thinking about my time spent with Her. Sometimes, it feels as if I don't even know her. Maybe she's someone else. Her spontaneity was charming at first. I thought I would never get tired of Her. But she can't accept me for who I am.
I'm a coward. Now, everything feels uneasy. The unpredictable is my nightmare. Her personality is erratic. I cannot bear the sight of another challenge, another fight. I breath mouth opened. A chunk of dust clogs my nostril as I open my window gasping for her. A freezing wind funnels inside the room, slamming me back to bed.
Why does the world hate me? I'm about to lose the love of my life because she refuses to understand me. What will I have if she leaves?
I could never face Her. What if she discovers that I never got the job at the deli? Or worse, if she learns that I've not left my house in the last three months? She could leave me for good. I would rather have her resenting me for the rest of my life than not have her at all.
A shrill sound rings in my ear. Why does this guy have to yell on the phone? I push back the window flap. It was already closed. The outside keeps calling. I plug my ear to ease the ringing.
I end up falling on my desk chair. The computer screen lights up. Even gaming feels empty. This is bad. Really bad. Nothing seems fun anymore.
If there is no escape, I need to do something about it. I can't keep running away like this. I grab my phone. Something is wrong with me. But that's the world! I'm going to call her. Tell her the truth. That's not happening and you know it.
To face her, there is only one way. The phone is nothing but a mere medium. It's not reality. It's like video games. Another escape.
To face her, there is only one way. I need to go out.
