Youtube

251 8 2
                                    

Well. I was quite a youtuber myself. But I didn't have nearly as much subscribers as Dan. He had over a million while I only had 200,000. Which I was proud of myself but embarrassed at the same time. Oh well. I'll get there someday. I just looked around my apartment. Then... my "battle scars" I sigh while I go on the internet. Moving to London was no different. I was still getting hurt. Cyber bullied I guess. Comment to comment all negatives.

"Oh my god! Have you seen your self? Even being anorexic won't help you, fatass."

"You thought you could escape us? You really are stupid"

"Just die already! Nobody gives a fuck about you! Not even your parents!"

"Drink bleach you slut. I bet you already slept with half of London!"

"Get raped you bitch. Then go cry and seek for attention hoe. You're good at that"

"Get Raped you bitch"

"Get raped you bitch"

"Get raped you bitch" 

I was raped. 7 years old by my abusive dad. I got beaten, raped, and abused. 

I noticed tears spilling on my keyboard. Why. Why do they want to hurt me.?

I wiped away my tears and walked to the bathroom. I got a new razor and slashed my skin.

Slash

Slash

and more slashing

I looked at the fresh blood from my cut skin. I was covered in them. Why can't they stop? I cried and buried my head in my arms. I must have fell asleep because I awoke to someone at the door.

"Just a second!" I yelled and hid the blade, and put on a long sleeve

"Uh hello" I smiled looking at Dan

"Hi y/n. I was wondering if you wanna come over tonight and watch a movie?" Dan asked

"Uhh. Yeah sure. Just let me get something on." As I rushed and put on some jeans, and walked out to meet Dan. "Ready" I smiled.

************************************************

After the movie, it was 1:53 A.M

"Thank you so much for having me.." I smile as I begin to walk out the door. I wasn't looking where I was going so I accidently hit my arm on the corner of the table. I flinched as I held my arm trying not to make me the center of attention. I looked back, seeing Dan looking at me, worried.

"Oh don't worry. I burned myself of the curling iron" I lied, and pulled a fake smile. He didn't buy it, but I ran out before he could say anything.

Shit, I have to be more aware next time.

Battle scars (dan howell x reader) [completed!]Where stories live. Discover now