Battle scars (dan howell x reader) [completed!]

Burn it with fire!

After I made Dan Victory Pancakes, we sat on the couch and spread a blanket over ourselves. We watched a movie chomping down popcorn and sweets. I looked to the corner and saw a brown thing crawling around. I threw off the blankets and wandered over to the corner, Dan eyeing me curiously. Of course. It was a cockroach. It was a monster roach! I hated bugs. Especially roaches! I shrieked as I backed up, tripping on my foot. The roach was crawling toward me as fast as a torpedo as I backed up on all fours.
"DAN. FUCK SHITMONKEYS" I yelled getting to my feet and running around the living room
"BURN IT WITH FIRE WE HAVE TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN AH" I yelled some more. He screamed as well and started darting around the house. We stumbled to the kitchen and put those strainer things on our heads and grabbed a frying pan and a wooden spoon. We ran around screaming some more when a very confused Phil walked in the door. Seeing us all decked up in cooking appliances.
"C-cockroach" I studdered.
"This is what this is about?" He laughed his bubbly laughter and grabbed a shoe and a paper towel. He smashed the roach with the shoe and cleaned up with the paper towel.
"PHILLIP LESTER, OUR HERO!" Dan yelled getting on his knees (oh yus bb (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) and bowing down to Phil. We paraded through the house. I, on Phil's back and Dan dancing in front of him
"PHIL PHIL PHIL PHIL!" we chanted running through the halls.