shadows of perfection

ੈ✩‧₊˚ 5

It had been a week since I last spoke with Alex in the college gardens.
I had tried to forget that conversation, but every word, every glance lingered, haunting me, trapping me in a loop of thoughts and questions I didn't want to face.

I attempted to refocus on my routine, pouring myself into classes, responsibilities, and my family's expectations.
Yet every time I looked in the mirror, I saw a restless face staring back, and the void within me grew deeper.

I was sitting in the campus café, my fingers drumming absently on the table.
Emma sat across from me, enthusiastically explaining a research project for our sociology class.
Her words washed over me, leaving no impression.

"Leila, are you even listening?" Emma's voice pulled me back to reality. I tried to smile as if nothing was wrong.

"Sorry, I was a bit distracted," I admitted, attempting to push thoughts of Alex aside.

Emma raised an eyebrow, her expression skeptical. "Distracted? Since when are you so out of it? You're starting to worry me."

"There's nothing to worry about," I replied quickly, maybe a little too quickly.
I felt the urge to change the subject. "I was just thinking about the literature project... you know how much I want to impress Professor Carter."

Emma leaned back in her chair, her gaze probing. "I don't buy it. You seem off, Leila. Is there something else you're not telling me?"

I sighed, avoiding her eyes.
Emma knew me too well; hiding anything from her was nearly impossible.

But I wasn't ready to drag her into my tangled thoughts about Alex. "Really, Emma. I'm fine, it's just a busy time, that's all."

As I tried to reassure her, a familiar laugh caught my attention.
At the far end of the café, Alex was sitting with Ryan, his head bent as he chuckled at a joke.

It was a picture of normalcy, surprisingly distant from the tension I felt when we were alone.

Yet, even from afar, I couldn't help but notice every detail: the tattoos peeking from his shirt sleeve, the half-smirk playing on his lips, his eyes occasionally drifting across the room.

Emma followed my gaze and rolled her eyes with a wry smile. "Don't tell me you're still hung up on him."

"What?" I denied, perhaps a bit too hastily. "I'm not hung up on anyone, Emma."

She laughed, shaking her head. "Leila, I may be naive sometimes, but I know when someone's hiding something. That guy's trouble, and you're... well, you. It doesn't seem like a great mix."

I was about to respond, ready to offer some excuse, when Ryan stood up and headed toward us.
Emma gave him a puzzled look.

We'd only exchanged pleasantries with him before, but before I could say anything, Ryan stopped beside our table, looking directly at me with a serious expression.

"Leila, right?" His voice was calm but direct.

I nodded, feeling my heart race. "Yeah, hi."

"Alex asked me to give you this." Ryan handed over a neatly folded piece of paper, avoiding Emma's curious gaze.

I took the note, trying to maintain a neutral expression. Ryan nodded and turned back toward Alex, who was now watching us.

His dark eyes locked onto mine, and a chill ran down my spine.
There was a challenge in his gaze, almost as if he was waiting for my reaction.

"What's that about?" Emma asked, tilting her head, trying to peek at the note in my hand.

"I don't know," I lied, clutching the paper tightly. I quickly slipped it into my bag, hoping to divert Emma's attention.

"You're not hiding something, are you?" Emma's suspicious look lingered, but I changed the subject, steering the conversation back to her research project. After a few minutes, I managed to shift her focus, but the unease didn't leave me.

Later, in the quiet of my room, I finally summoned the courage to open the note Ryan had handed me. The words were written in a steady, precise handwriting that seemed to mirror Alex himself.

"If you're done pretending, meet me at midnight.
-A."

A rush of excitement and nerves overwhelmed me. It was a clear invitation, a direct request that I knew would change everything.

If I went to him, I'd be crossing a line I had always vowed to keep.
But the temptation was too strong to resist, a pull toward something forbidden and dangerous.

As midnight approached, the adrenaline surged through me.
The thought of Alex, waiting for me, ignited a fire inside. Every fiber of my being seemed drawn to him, to that secret meeting.