Years ago I was engaged in a conversation with a young lady who had an issue. Her issue was that she was in love and having an affair with a married man. As I sat at her kitchen table, I listened intensely as she filled me in on every detail of her situation.
She stated that when they first met he had not revealed his true marital status to her. They dated for months and it wasn’t until someone else told her that she found out he had a wife. When she confronted him with this information he did not deny being married, but informed her that he was not happy at home. She admitted at how she struggled with the news in the beginning, but that the promises he made to her made it hard for her to let him go.
Prior to this conversation I was concrete on having no sympathy for an adulterer. In my book, it was a no brainer; you just didn’t do it because it was WRONG! That was, until I had been put in a situation myself where what was being offered before me seemed so much better than what was waiting for me at home.
I never imagined that I would be even considering adultery as an option in my life. When I said “I do” I meant it and I believed that as long as I did my very best to be a good wife, that my husband would love me like I needed him to. But then a year passed by. Then another…and another… and what was so easy to do in the beginning became very hard for me without getting what I needed. I had lost my strength and was now, what they called, “vulnerable”.
There I was, working like a Hebrew slave thinking he’d see that I am a good woman and appreciate me and give me his time and affection the way I needed him to, but….nothing! I was trying everything, even making sure I did my best to stay fit and sexy for him. And although he barely noticed, other men did.
I remember one time I was doing my workouts at the gym and this guy ran pass me on the track. When he made his way back around he made it obvious that he was interested. It wasn’t inappropriate at all, but it was noticeable. As time went on I’d see him more and more and every time I saw him his milk chocolate smile would brighten up my day. I began to look forward to his smile because it was innocent enough and it gave me a small attention fix. Somebody say… “But then”!
Then one day Mr. Muscles decides to slow down and run alongside of me. Instantly I had to fight to gain control of my breathing because my lungs felt like they were malfunctioning. I wasn’t prepared to handle an up-close encounter with him because I had established this routine of getting my fix from a distance.
Once I gained my composure and sound returned fully to my ears, I realized that he was trying to offer me some pointers on how to run. I took the advice and thought that was all he wanted, until he kept running with me. After that every time I’d come to the gym to run and he was there he would slow down his pace to match mines. As time went on I began to love his presence…so much that it felt like I was cheating on my husband. Eventually I just stopped going to the gym all together and started doing my workouts at home via video tapes.
That was a hard thing to do; to stop something that seemed to be helping to sustain me. And although it didn’t seem wrong to an outsider, I knew what was going on inside of me. I had become hooked on that fine, chocolate, muscled gentlemen with the white bright smile and had decided that I was not about to lie myself right into what I knew could possibly happen. I knew I was too thirsty to start drinking from that fountain and was sure that if I didn’t act fast I would have gotten myself caught up pretty bad!
There are many people, both married and single, at the point of what they call “Extreme Thirst”. They do their best to follow the rules, crossing their T’s and dotting their I’s, just to find themselves at the end of the day left holding nothing or if they do get anything it adds up to be a few drip-drops. So to have someone come out of nowhere batting a thousand; saying and doing the right things, drowning them with the attention they’ve been craving without a struggle, is quite a spirit lifter. It can suck you in way before you remember that either you are married or they are. And to walk away from a fresh flow of water after being in the wilderness with dry mouth for a long time is not so easy to do. It’s like stopping your pee mid-stream; it hurts, it’s uncomfortable and it just feels better to keep going with the flow!
