yandere

yan. Chrollo x reader

a/n: soft boi Chrollo bcs i don't mind seeing men cry hihi

You have never seen him cry.

Not really at least.

That is until Uvogin and Pakunoda died..

He has used tears to pursuade you of something or to manipulate you, bend you to his will, but you never fell for it.

But when he comes back to the house he's keeping you hostage in, you know something is wrong.

He's back later than he said he would be and he's silent when he sits down on the sofa, closing his eyes clearly exhausted.

You don't ask what happened, telling yourself that you don't care.

You're watching him from another room, from a comfortable distance.

It's only when he lean's forward, burys his face in his hands and his shoulders shake that you know why he's so quiet.

He's crying.

But Chrollo Lucilfer doesn't cry, does he?

You decide that there is no harm in checking, so you step closer.

Usually you're the first thing he checks to be there when he comes back, but not this time and it's so out of character for him that you begin to worry.

"What's wrong?" you ask and Chrollo is quick in sitting back up straight but he doesn't bother to wipe away the remains of the tears rolling down his face.

There's a smile on his face when you come close enough to see it but it doesn't look satisfied like it usually does.

It's a smile of sadness and resignation.

"Uvogin and Pakunoda died." he says and you're confused.

You know who they are, you've met them a few times thanks to Chrollo and the Phantom Troupe activities.

But Uvogin is a three meter giant with as much muscle as his bones can take without shattering not to mention how strong his nen ability is, it's hard to believe he died.

And Pakunoda is a strong nen user as well, she's charming, attractive and can get herself out of any dangerous situation.

"How?" is the only thing you can respond, expecting to hear something that doesn't make sense at all.

"Uvogin was killed and Pakunoda died helping." Chrollo's answer is short and spot on, though you want some more information to be able to understand what's going on.

So you press him for more and he caves in.

He tells you about the chain user that suddenly disturbed their job in York New, how Uvogin was suddenly gone and didn't return.

It left everyone already guessing he had died especially after Chrollo put to use the nen ability he stole the same day from a girl with blue hair.

He tells you that he was taken Hostage by a chain user and that he can't use his nen anymore or talk to the other troupe members until he could find an exorcist who could get rid of the chain around his heart that would kill him if he breaks those two things.

He tells you that he just knows Pakunoda told the other members, that she sacrificed herself so they would know.

Chrollo is clearly frustrated with the situation over all.

His voice breaks here and there, his eyes are red from holding back the tears.

And despite the grief and frustration he smiles.

You know it's not real, not an indicator of emotion.

It's more like a reflex, a routine he forced on himself whenever his eyes aren't skimming over pages or discussing a plan.

And sadly, what he say's makes sense.

Uvogin is the kind of guy to take any fight by himself and Pakunoda is the kind of woman to give up everything for Chrollo.

Both of them have been with the troupe from the start, they've known Chrollo before he came the leader of the spider.

They're founding members but most importantly, they were his friends.

Chrollo had seen many members die and their spot taken by their murderers, you know that because you have seen some of them, but the founding members were always the same.

Uvogin was always spider number 11 and Pakunoda was always spider number 9.

It had been like this from the very start but now other people will take in their places, their numbers, and you can tell Chrollo isn't okay with that.

It's just not how things are supposed to go.

Uvogin and Pakunoda aren't supposed to die in the first place, they are founding members after all.

But once Uvogin was killed, the chain user was supposed to take his place which he refused.

Pakunoda wasn't supposed to sacrifice herself to catch the others up on what happened and help Chrollo, the survival of the whole is more important than him.

He says so himself several times.

Chrollo is deviated with what happened in York New, fully and truly.

He tells you he will only stay for a few hours until he will head east to get an exorcist to take away the chain users nen from his heart, it's what his prophecy said he should do.

Or at least it suggested it.

And between all that drama, grief and confusion you budge.

That night you let him cry in your arms until he decides to take his leave once his tears are dry.

Despite him holding you hostage after kidnapping you, your hands are gentle when they stroke over Chrollos back and mess up his hair as you comfort him.

And that night is the first time you see Chrollo as a person, not as your captor.

Maybe, despite all the things he has done, there is still some humanity left in him and you'd be a monster to not return it.