Blue hair ✸ Apollo ²

VIII. Censor that choking heart

Maybe she was putting way too much thought into the situation, but Lydia knew all these thoughts were gonna come back around soon enough. Stuff like that always did. Building and swirling until it cleared everything away for a while, usually a few weeks or a month at most. Then Lydia would go through her usual breakdown before building it all up again.

These thoughts — these breakdowns weren't something Lydia saw other demigods experience. Well, they went through the usual process of trauma. Sitting alone for long periods of time, and reminiscing about the littlest things that reminded them of their past. But Lydia — it was a whole rollercoaster.

Sometimes it was easy to keep these thoughts from filling her up when she was out fighting monsters, but it completely ruined her when she had way too much time like this. Standing in the void of her thoughts. Especially when anything— absolutely anything could set it off. Like for example, the future.

Imaging the future has always been a sore subject for Lydia. She's only talked about it a few times before, but only the part about why she didn't like the future. It also didn't help that the stupid prophecy about her and Apollo was echoing in her head either, the one she was trying to get used to.

"The daughter of wine goes and finds her true love's mind, Being the first since ancient times to be his confine. But even through the golden light, she'll have a life darker than night. A mistake to be born that has worn a crown of old. And her soul shall be torn."

But as she was thinking, Lydia used to imagine a perfect future as a child. She would have been popular and smart like everyone she looked up to. Or used to look up to. But obviously, that never happened. Because it started going lost soon after.

Lydia finally looked up to see a flash of gold leaving the hallway from her bedroom door. Her mind was still blown away, but she had enough space to know Apollo was just looking out for her. Even if right now — she could barely hold herself together to do the same for him.