I really wanted to meet his dancer. It also meant that I would meet with Chan again. For a moment we just sat there in silence. Suddenly, Chan asked, "Why do you grow up in a children's home?"
Why? Why did he have to ask that now? Before all the carefully put away memories swirled across my head again, I just said: "My parents were deprived of custody." Chan just nodded. I had successfully held back the memories, I thought and was a little happy inside. But then Chan asked, "May I ask why you didn't stay in Germany?"
Now everything came back up in me. I would never forget how he told me that he hated me, how glassy his eyes were when he saw the train coming towards him, and how everything was full of blood. I would never forget the three months I spent in psychiatry. I would never forget that my parents didn't even fight to keep custody. I just couldn't stand it anymore in Germany.
I had told all these things exactly two people, Angelina and Sophia. Not even Ahri, Aiko, and Grace, or Yejun knew what had really happened. Why should I tell someone who barely knew my name?
"No," I said, suppressing the tears. I took a deep breath. "So you said your dancer would like to get to know me?" I tried to change my mind. Chan nodded. He looked a little worried. Did he worry about me?" When would it suit her?" I asked. "She should be at training right now. So we can go straight to her," Chan said. I looked at the clock. A quarter to seven. "Unfortunately, it won't work today," I said. "My boyfriend is picking me up in fifteen minutes." "It's a shame. Then another time," Chan said. I just nodded.
"You have a boyfriend?" Chan said questioningly. I felt like he looked sad. I nodded again. "And he thinks it's okay for you to meet up with another boy?" "Yes, why not? He is also Stay. He knows who you are. That you're a star. He thinks it's cool that I'm meeting you." Yejun was almost more excited than I was when he brought me here on his motorcycle. However, I wasn't so sure if he really shouldn't worry anymore. I felt like I was really falling in love with Chan.
For the last fifteen minutes we sat quietly on the bench. We went back to the entrance in just as quietly. I enjoyed the silence. Not because I didn't like talking to Chan, but because it was nice to walk through a blooming park with his favourite singer and admire nature. Almost romantic. I immediately banished this thought from my head again. I had a boyfriend!
He was already waiting in front of the gate. Chan and I hugged each other briefly to say goodbye. Then I put on my helmet and got on the motorcycle.
Together with Ahri, Angelina, Grace, Aiko, Yejun and a few other boys we sat at breakfast in the children's home. I looked cautiously at Yejun. He avoided my gaze, sat still in his seat and ate. He seemed absent, did not participate in our conversations. We had agreed that we would remain friends.
It had been a week since Chan and I had met in the church park. We had continued to write on Insta. However, we had not yet found a new date to visit the dancer. However, I had learned a lot about Chan during the week, which you can't find on the Internet about him.
"Do you have a fight?" Grace pulled me out of my thoughts. Ahri, Aiko and Angelina also looked at me worriedly and curiously. "You're both so absent," Ahri said. "Yejun and me? No," I said, "I'll tell you in the room what's going on." We finished eating and put away our dishes. Then we went to the room. We didn't have school today because it was the weekend. That's why we had enough time to talk.
"Sooooo...?" Angelina asked "What's going on?" "We broke up," I said. "Better said, I broke up." My friends looked at me with wide eyes. "That's a joke, isn't it?" Grace asked unbelievably. "That's because of Chan, isn't it?" Aiko was the first to realise. I nodded: "I just thought it was wrong to be with Yejun, but to feel like I was falling in love with Chan. Even if I would never get to him, as Yejun always says." "But now you're texting with Chan and he wants to meet with you. And now you think you might have a chance with him?" Angelina suspected. "No," I said, "I just understood that it was wrong. Whether you fall in love with an idol or a normal boy. Whether he likes you or not. Both are the same. After all, Chan is just a boy. One that many know." The others nodded understandingly.
"Who of you thinks Y/N and Chan should arrange a new meeting right now?" Ahri asked with a smile. "I," the others said unanimously. They looked at me. I sighed and took my phone.
