Hostage to you

13 Lost cause?

Raven's POV

I stand outside Billie's house, nerves buzzing in my chest. After the almost-kiss, things have felt... off. The tension between us has been building, and I'm not sure how much longer we can keep avoiding it. My hand hovers over the door before I finally knock.

The door opens, and there's Billie, standing in an oversized hoodie, her hair a little messy, but there's something in her eyes—something that makes my heart race. She smiles, but it's tight, awkward, like she's just as unsure about this as I am.

"Hey," she says, stepping aside to let me in.

I nod, stepping into the house, the silence between us thick. We sit down in the living room, the space between us feeling smaller than it is, and I can feel the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on me.

"So... about the other night," Billie starts, her voice quiet, like she's afraid to bring it up.

I shift in my seat, feeling my pulse quicken. "Yeah. About that."

We both fall silent again, the tension between us thickening. I can feel my palms sweating, and I have no idea what to say. I want to ask her how she feels, but I'm terrified of the answer.

"I didn't mean to—" Billie starts, then stops herself, running a hand through her hair. "I don't know what I'm trying to say."

I laugh awkwardly, trying to ease the tension. "Yeah, same. It just... happened."

Billie lets out a shaky breath, her eyes meeting mine. "Right. It just happened."

But even as we say it, the air between us is charged, like there's something we're both avoiding. The silence stretches on, and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, each beat getting louder in my ears.

Without thinking, I shift closer, and Billie does the same. Before I know it, we're inches apart, and I can feel her breath on my skin. The space between us feels like it's going to collapse at any moment.

Then, it happens.

Our lips crash together, and it's not soft or hesitant—it's hungry, desperate, like we've both been waiting for this moment for too long. Billie's hands tangle in my hair as I pull her closer, our bodies pressing against each other. The kiss deepens, and it's intense, electric, like we're both letting go of everything we've been holding back.

For a moment, it's like the world fades away, and all I can think about is how good it feels to be kissing her. There's no hesitation, no second-guessing—just us, lost in the moment.

But then, reality comes crashing back.

We pull apart, both of us breathing heavily, our foreheads resting against each other. For a second, neither of us says anything, the weight of what just happened settling in.

I want to be with her so bad, but I can't. Not now. Not while I don't know how to solve her.

Billie is the first to speak, her voice shaky. "That... was a mistake."

My heart sinks, does she really think that?

I'm trying to catch my breath. With resistance I say "Yeah. We shouldn't have done that."

We pull back, and suddenly the space between us feels too big, too empty. The room is heavy with tension, and I don't know what to do with my hands, so I cross them over my chest, trying to act like I'm fine.

"We need to keep things professional," Billie says, her voice a little firmer now, like she's convincing herself. "We can't... this can't happen again."

"Yeah," I agree, even though my mind is still reeling from the kiss. "You're right."

But even as the words leave my mouth, I know I don't mean them. That kiss... it felt like everything I'd been holding back finally made sense. And now, we're trying to pretend like it didn't happen. Like it was a mistake.

But it wasn't.

"Let's just... forget it happened," Billie says, though the way her voice wavers tells me she's not sure about that either.

I nod again, but neither of us moves. The tension is still there, lingering in the air, and I can't shake the feeling that we're not done—that this isn't over, no matter how much we try to act like it is.

"Yeah, professional," I say quietly, but the words feel hollow.

We sit there in silence for a few more moments before I finally stand up, my legs feeling shaky. "I should... I should go."

Billie stands too, her eyes avoiding mine. "Yeah. Probably a good idea."

We walk to the door, the silence between us almost unbearable now. As I step outside, Billie gives me a tight smile, but there's something in her eyes that tells me she's thinking the same thing I am.

That kiss wasn't a mistake. Not really.