Hostage to you

18 Issues

I don't know how long I've been walking. My feet carry me away from Billie's house, away from the walls that suddenly felt like they were closing in. The cold air stings my face, and everything feels too loud—the cars, the footsteps, the murmur of people going about their day.

An NDA. Like I'm some stranger she can't trust.

The thought loops in my mind, growing heavier until it crushes my chest. My breaths come faster, shallow and frantic. Panic claws at my throat, and I stumble into a narrow alleyway, my back hitting the cold brick wall.

I slide down, my knees pulling up to my chest. My lungs feel like they're shrinking, and no matter how hard I try, I can't get enough air. Tears blur my vision, hot and relentless, and a sob forces its way out.

I clutch my head, my fingers digging into my scalp as if I can physically hold myself together. The world spins, tightening around me, and all I can hear is the frantic pounding of my heart.

Breathe. Just breathe.

But I can't.

"Raven?"

The voice slices through the chaos—soft, hesitant, but unmistakably hers. I gasp, choking on a sob, my vision swimming as I lift my head. Billie is standing a few feet away, her hoodie pulled low over her face, sunglasses covering her eyes. Her hair is tucked inside the hood, but even so, I know it's her.

"Raven," she repeats, her voice trembling. "Can I come closer?"

I can barely nod, my body trembling too hard. She steps into the alleyway, glancing around quickly, probably checking to see if anyone's watching. Satisfied that we're hidden, she crouches down a foot away from me, her eyes filled with concern.

"I followed you," she says softly. "I had to. I couldn't just let you go like that."

I squeeze my eyes shut, another sob escaping. "I... I can't..."

"Hey, hey," she whispers, her voice breaking. "It's okay. Just... try to breathe with me, okay?"

She takes a slow, exaggerated breath in through her nose, her shoulders rising. "In... and out." She exhales slowly, her voice steady. "You can do this. I'm right here."

I try to copy her, my breath shuddering as I inhale. It feels like I'm breathing through a straw, but I manage to take in a little air.

"Good," Billie says, her voice gentle. "Again. In... and out."

We do this together, over and over. Her hand hovers near mine, not touching, just waiting. Slowly, the tightness in my chest starts to loosen. The sounds of the city fade, replaced by Billie's soft voice and the rhythmic pattern of her breathing.

After what feels like forever, I take a deeper breath, my lungs finally filling properly. My body sags against the wall, drained and exhausted. The tears still fall, but the panic has receded, leaving a hollow ache behind.

Billie stays crouched beside me, her hands trembling slightly. She pushes her sunglasses up onto her head, revealing her eyes—wide, worried, and glistening with unshed tears.

"I'm so sorry," she whispers, her voice raw. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

I shake my head, wiping my damp cheeks with the sleeve of my jacket. "It's not just you. It's... everything. I just—I don't know how to handle all of this."

Her jaw tightens, and she scoots closer, her knees brushing against mine. "I shouldn't have sprung the NDA on you like that. I thought I was protecting us, but... I didn't think about how it would make you feel. That's on me."