So, hey it's Jake here.
Well, this is my first time writing a journal and I'm completely lost.
My therapist told me to introduce myself so here we go.
I was born and left on Saints Claire Orphanage.
I grew up there and never got along with girls.
I forgot to mention, they called me Mary by the time I spent there.
I never acted the same as them but they called me a tomboy.
My friends never cared about it, instead they liked that a girl was playing with them.
As I got in my teen years I started getting this weird feeling, my body started making me feel uncomfortable wherever I went.
Time passed and I had to get a job and have my own life, no one really wanted to adopt the weird girl and I stayed there for a long time.
I got my things sorted out and said the last goodbye for those people who I called my family.
I miss them.
I started searching trought the internet about what I was feeling and that question popped up, I could never forget about it, "Are you transgender?"
I was shocked and curious, browsing about it I started relating more and more with all they said.
"Dysphoria" "Drag Kings" "Mogai" Endless terms that I never heard about.
And one article got me.
"What it means to discover that you are transgender."
Then I realized, that's how I feel.
That have been happening.
How could I be so blind?
I'm a gay guy and this is my new start.
07.03.2015
Jordan came here today. We accidentally touched our hands.
I felt that jolt. Is this, love?
09.03.2015
I went to his party yesterday. He got drunk.
He pulled me to his bedroom and told that he loved me.
He stole a kiss from me and I wanted more but he passed out on his bed.
I think, I'm falling.
12.03.2015
Yep, that's a thing. I love him.
So, he came and I asked if he could remember about the party.
He forgot everything.
I kissed him.
He kissed back.
I think that his drunk words were sober feelings.
17.03.2015
Dear journal, yesterday I confessed my love for him.
He did too.
We are now dating.
20.03.2015
We are going to a party outside of the city, I can't wait to have some fun.
21.03.2015
It's all my fault.
28.03.2015
It's been 8 days. I haven't eat. I haven't sleep.
It's my fault.
I should have done something to stop him.
My fault.
02.04.2015
I'm sick.
This hospital makes me think about him.
Jordan please come back.
06.04.2015
There's no one to visit me and it's my fault.
Jordan would be here for me.
08.04.2015
They said that I don't much time left.
I lost too much weight.
I can't sleep without medicine.
I'm sorry that I became this Jordan.
09.04.2015
They said that I'm in my last days.
I asked for my nurse to bury me next to him at least.
We will be together again.
10.04.2015
Jordan, I miss you.
You got in that car accident because I didn't stop you from driving drunk.
I'm sorry that I kinda killed myself but I couldn't stay here while you aren't.
I will be seeing you soon, they gave up of making me live.
I'm glad though. I need you.
Jordan, I love you.
YOU ARE READING
Love(ly) Stories - Oneshots
Fanfiction*Trigger warning* //Suicide, Suicidal Thoughs, Self Harm, Etc\\ This is story may contain triggering words for you. Please take care. This is my book of oneshots.
