Drowning in the swamp of memories

bleu fire

I was drifting in and out of consciousness, the world a blur of shadows and murmurs. My body still felt heavy, tingling with the remnants of electricity that had weakened me. My vision swam, catching only a glimpse of a gloved hand—blue flames flickering softly from it. The fire wasn’t burning; instead, it felt warm, almost soothing, as it traced over my wounds. Healing fire? I couldn’t make sense of it as I faded back into darkness, only catching fragments of a conversation above me.

A calm, familiar voice spoke, “So, you got her this time. But when will you come back? She’s missed you—what if—”

The other voice, deeper and more distant, interrupted, “It’s not the right time. My ability’s second effect on her... it would be a catastrophe. Her Red Lotus isn’t enough. She needs a push, but giving her that power means acknowledging an unstoppable force.”

The tone softened. “But I believe in you, Hako.”

I felt a gentle touch, like warm lips pressed against my forehead, before everything went silent once more.

---

When I came to, I was in someone’s arms, his ginger hair falling into his eyes as he barked orders at the Port Mafia agents nearby. “Hold the city perimeter!” Chuuya commanded, his usual fierceness in full force. I groaned softly, catching his attention.

He glanced down at me, eyes tense with concern. “Kiki, don’t try to move yet.”

I ignored him, though, pushing myself slightly to take in my surroundings. Buildings in the distance were smoldering, and crowds of people were scattered in disarray. But my mind was somewhere else entirely. Who... was I?

As I drifted, lost in thought, Chuuya was distracted by the chaos around us, and I slipped from his arms, escaping down an alleyway. I felt hollow, a strange sense of detachment washing over me. It was as if something vital was missing.

Then, I turned the corner and froze. A figure stood at the end of the alley, familiar yet distant. Brown hair, mischievous eyes—a face I knew but couldn’t fully place. Before I could react, I was pulled into a tight embrace.

“Belladonna.” The voice was soft yet firm. He didn’t let go, holding me as though I’d vanish if he did.

“Dazai…?” I murmured, more of a question than a recognition. My memory was blurred, but his presence grounded me, if only slightly.

He pulled back just enough to look at me. “Yes, it’s me.” His voice softened, a rare warmth in his tone. “Come on. Let’s get you somewhere safe.”

Without waiting for a response, Dazai lifted me into his arms, cradling me against his chest. I rested my head against him, feeling strangely at ease, even though my mind was still cloudy. As he carried me, I looked up at him, my brow furrowing.

“Is havoc here?” I asked quietly, a lingering doubt eating at me.

He glanced down, his gaze unreadable. He didn’t answer, only pulling me closer as if shielding me from something he didn’t want me to face. I couldn’t place the emotions swimming in his eyes—concern, protectiveness, maybe even fear.

I sighed, closing my eyes, feeling the weariness pull at me again. My head swirled with thoughts of the blue fire, the unknown man’s words echoing in my mind. This isn’t my place, I thought. Yet as I drifted off once more in Dazai’s arms, a small part of me clung to the familiarity of his presence, even as everything else seemed to fade into uncertainty.