I did it all for you | Bangchan ff

one - "I didn't flirt though"

"Hey, beautiful."
I opened my eyes, sunlight hit me and blocked my view, still I knew it was him. I would recognise his voice even he was just one person talking in the middle of a crowded place.
"Hey, Chris", I answered. I got up and, finally, I could see him, the prettiest smile making his face shine.
"I didn't expect you until late tonight", I said. His smile became even brighter.
"I didn't feel like staying there too long. I couldn't get the thought of you being all alone at home out of my head, so..." His hands played with the daisies underneath him as he looked at the floor.
Did his cheeks just blush? I've had this feeling for a while now. Lately, he has come home earlier, stayed up later and spoke to me in an even softer voice.
"Chan?", I asked, cautiously watching his expressions change from dreamy to attentive.
"Yes?"
"Why do you hate the thought of me being alone so much?" It was risky business, bringing it up now. We had been friends for as long as I could remember. When I was in kindergarten, his tiny hands helped me build hundreds of sand castles. When I was in elementary school, he helped me do my homework. When I was in middle school, he consoled me as my first crush rejected me. When I was in high school, things became problematic for a while because he went to college on the other side of the country, but it wasn't even a year until I found him standing on my doormat, clothes drenched, his lugagge packed as if he had been in a hurry. I never asked questions. I let him in and ever since then we lived together.
It had always been him. It had always been his voice, his laughter, his scent, his hugs, his unconditional love. There was no constant just like him and I never doubted the fact that Chris was my best friend, the brother my parents didn't give me. That was until recently.
It happened slowly and silently. Touches became more intense, hugs lasted even longer, our eyes met a little more often until some day his dark eyes seemed to spark when we locked eyes over lunch.
The question of what we had become was present within me ever since. I was afraid to ask though as our relationship had never been questioned in the 24 years of my life. But that very moment of him coming all the way from the other side of the town, leaving an important job related event only to find me laying under the oak tree in our back yard, was too much. As much as I didn't want us to change, I could no longer deny that there was something going on.
His eyes fastened mine. Eyes as dark as the ocean by night glared at me, poking deep into my soul and I shivered. I couldn't count the amount of times our eyes had met already. There were hundreds of honest moments, shared on his bedroom floor when he was, once again, trying to tell me that the asshole that dumped me wasn't worth crying over. Thousands of his insistent looks, one for every time I couldn't remember my vocabulary or miscalculated yet another formula in my chemistry homework. And there were millions of those moments, simple signs of our bone-deep connection whenever we locked eyes and started laughing because we shared our one last remaining braincell, but none of these moments had ever felt as staggering as this one right now.
"You know I always cared about you not feeling lonely", was all he had to say.
"I wasn't lonely tho... and you know that." I pointed at "your freedom", the novel lying next to me on my checkerboard blanket.
"Cho Junghwa is actually quite an interesting companion."
"Oh, I... I was just afraid you could get bored of that book at some point. How many times have you read it now?" His fingers were still fiddling with the flowers to his left. Other that that tiny movement his body was completely calm. He didn't move half an inch as we just kept looking at each other.
"I don't know... ten times, probably?", I answered his question but my head couldn't fully process our conversation. I was stuck somewhere in the captivating grip of his glare. My thoughts seemed to be controlled by him since the only thing I could think of was his presence. I noticed the tiny slip of his tongue. I heard the rustle of his trousers moving with the wind. I tasted the smell of his perfume - tart and woody, strong and... seductive.
My mouth became dry and suddenly I was unable to speak. I wanted to laugh, wanted to ask why he was acting so strange but my body no linger listened to me.
"Princess?"
My hands started shaking at the sound of his voice. Had it always been that raspy, that deep and filled with something that made my heart skip a beat?
What the actual fuck was going on?
"I don't know about you, but... I think..."
Chris closed his eyes and finally the tension was gone. My heightened senses went back to normal, my body started moving again and still I felt as if I missed something.
"Well, if you're not lonely, I think I'll... go make dinner. You must be hungry. Did you eat yet?"
He wiped his hands on his jeans and was just about to stand up, when suddenly, the cold, manifesting inside of me, forced me to grab his wrists. As soon as my skin touched his the cold was gone.
Fear planted a seed deep inside my stomach causing me to feel somewhat faint while, at the same time, I felt as warm and easy as I had never felt before.
"Chanie, I'm sorry", I stammered not knowinf what force drove me to hold him with me.
None of this was right. I shouldn't call him by his childhood nickname, I shouldn't feel this way. My heart shouldn't be racing, my chest shouldn't feel so full of cosy warmth and my eyes shouldn't be so drawn to those pillowy, pink lips.
"I wanna kiss you so bad right now", he whispered. His hands found his way to my hips, pulling me closer until I was sitting on his lap. The air between us seemed to vanish the closer we got and as our lips almost touched, breathing was no longer an option.
"Do you know how long I've been waiting for this?"
The physical sound of his voice touched my skin and if I hadn't stopped breathing already, I would have fainted from the smell of his sweet words. Did he just say that he waited for this to happen? That couldn't be. He had been my best friend. He had supported me through every crush, never batting an eye when I came across a new lover.
Just when my last relationship ended a month ago, he did nothing but listen and comfort me.
"But you never... we're just friends", I whisered. I tried my best to keep my heart from floundering but I couldn't do anything as his face turned soft and his eyes, which had looked at me as if I was a long lost treasure, filled up with hundreds of pink hearts.
"I never said anything?", he asked with a smile on his lips. Oh, those lips... he was so so close that I could barely even see them but they were the most inviting ones I had ever seen. I had never allowed myself to see them this way. Chris was always just a friends and when we went out to party and he ended up with another girl, I wouldn't allow myself to look ar the way his lips moved, the way his mouth made love to the girl's, the way his mellow, pink skin touched hers. I accidentally caught him red handed twice, but I never thought that the upset stomach I had afterwards would have been because I wanted to be other girl. But at this very moment it seemed... feasable.
Why else would my heart race and tumble like this? Still it wasn't right.
"I never said anything, because..." A peck landed on my cheeks.
"You were never interested in me." Another one landed right beneath my ear and chills went down my back from the spot he just touched.
"I'm still not interested in you that way"  I said, gasping for air. There was still none between us.
"You're not? Too bad." Slowly, he pushed me from his lap and again I felt cold. I urgently had to see a doctor because, obviously, I was sick.
"Then I apologise. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. Didn't I wanna cook dinner? What do you want? Pasta? I could make..."
"Chris!", I shouted. My whole body was shaking. I did not understand anything anymore and the least I understood was the urge to grab his neck and pull him back down to my face.
"Why did you just flirt with me?"
He raised his eyebrows as if he was dumbfounded.
"Me? I didn't flirt though."
"Oh, stop it, yes you did! And now I'm... I..." A wild sound, the sound of utter confusion left my throat and my eyes filled with tears.
"Chris, what are you doing? I can't get you out of my head anymore. I don't want to think about you this way, you're my best friend. But right now I want nothing more than kiss you, you idiot!" I was wailing, tears ran down my cheeks because whatever I felt, I couldn't even grasp it anymore. It was all too much.
"Then kiss me, idiot number two", he whispered, laughing and holding my hands. He bent back down, one of his hands found its way up to my neck and then finally, his lips met mine.
The world stopped spinning and time was no longer a measurement that could influence us because on that tiny piece of grass under the oaktree in our backyard, it had stopped.
I had kissed many people before, boys and girls and anything inbetween. I had loved many of them, some of them turned out to not be right for me and some made me feel excited for one night but none of those kisses had ever felt the way, his kiss made me feel. I didn't seem to exist as an individual, I was solely a part of whatever we became. I was a river of feelings, flowing through the air, dancing to the melody of our synced heartbeats as my body was melting from his touch, becoming one with him. Our lips moved at the exact same pace, filling gaps that I didn't know existed as if they were made only for the purpose of kissing each other.
My heart and stomach and whatever organs were still left and hadn't melted yet, exploded from pure joy. Kissing him made me forget about anything that could possibly worry me. No bad feelings could come close as long as we were one. There was no master thesis that had to be written, no insurance that wanted me to cover the recent stay at the hospital, no job interview that I could technically louse up. Everything that mattered was the fact I was in his arms. I felt as if was right where I belonged. I felt safe.
Chris had always given the biggest, warmest, most love-filled hugs but being held by him while he was kissing me made me realise what feeling safe meant. Feeling safe was not having a stable and well-payed job, it wasn't being covered by a blanket at night and it wasn't walking around at night with a can of pepperspray in my bag. Feeling safe was the feeling of strong arms around my waist, big hands holding my head and raw fingers caressing my cheeks. Feeling safe was being with him. It was being loved by him in a way no other human being could ever love me.
Moments passed, maybe hours, but time was irrelevant until our lips seperated. I felt as if this kiss could have went on forever and I already missed the feeling of being so close to him that I could feel his blood rushing through my veins but as I opened my eyes and saw his red cheeks, his sparkling glare and his unbreakable smile, my heart shattered all over again from the weight of all the emotions rushing over me. I was the happiest girl in the universe.
"So, you're still not interested in me that way, huh?", he asked with a smile as broad as the grand canyon.
I gently slapped his shoulder.
"Obviously not."
"Too bad. Then I might have to kiss you again. I can be very persuasive, sometimes", he said provokingly and butterflies raced through my stomach.
"Oh, you might", I replied and as soon as those words left my mouth, hot pink warmth met my forehead, my cheeks, the tip of my nose, the corner of my mouth and, finally, my lips and I realised that we had probably been much more than friends for a very long time.

----------------
안녕 👋
This is my first time writing a fanfiction fully in english haha
But people were interested, so I had to try... the story is based on a dream I had (iykyk) and so far, I have planned four chapters in total, so see this as a teaser or trailer or whatever.
I will do my best to write a nice story, but I can't promise anything as english is not my first language. I hope you might read the other chapters, too.
I can't say when they will come, though, as I have a lot to do atm but I will do my best to write them as quickly as possible.
Thank you for reading so far ^^