My Angel Baby

Chapter Thirty Four

*Sia*

Cameron hasn't been himself since we left dipshit on the other side of the wall. It's been two hours since that incident and even though he was smiling and laughing the spark he had earlier was gone, along with his playfulness. It was getting harder and harder with each passing day to stop watching him all the time. I couldn't help it though. I could seriously stare at him all day long if I could. But the pro of it was the fact I was learning his expressions and his body language.

And right now he was depressed.

And I knew it was from whatever Bret had said to him before he spit that nasty little spiel before we left him standing there. I wish I had been close enough to hear what he had whispered to him, but I wasn't. Would I be overstepping if I asked him to tell me? Maybe. But was I going to ask anyways.

Damn right I was.

Because I hated seeing him like this. It reminded me of the time at the club when I was cockblocking him. But this...this was different on another level. It went deeper and I wished he relied on me enough to tell me what it was that was causing him so much anguish and heartache.

I felt like his smile isn't as bright as it was earlier. Not even watching the kids looking happy and hopeful lifted his spirits back to where they once were before douche lord came uninvited. All throughout the dinner he barely spoke, picked at his food and gave halfhearted smiles. I didn't like it. I wanted happy Cam back.

So, once he was alone, helping clean off the table as Mrs. Lawson took the families in the big living room to say their final goodbyes, I step up close to him whispering,

"Are you alright?"

He stops midway from lifting a plate off the table. He looks up at me and gives a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I'm fine, Sia."

I stare at him as he continues what he's doing and avoids eye contact with me all together. I knew he wasn't fine. I was learning on the type of person he was. I let him take the dirty plates into the kitchen and wait for him to come back to gather more, helping one of the other volunteers that came for the event. I haven't moved as he walks back towards me. Noticing I wasn't doing anything he quirks an eyebrow.

"Are you just going to stand there and help us out or just watch us do all the work?" Even his sassiness was halfhearted at best.

This was really bugging me. So instead of answering him I wait for the other volunteer to disappear through the doorway before taking his chin gently with my fingers and leaned down pressing my lips softly against his.

Slowly leaning back he stares up at me with tear filled eyes. "Whatever it is he said to you, you shouldn't listen to him. His words were only meant to hurt you because his pride got wounded. He's upset that you don't want him back Cameron."

He shakes his head pulling away from me as he stares down at the table. "His words however are unfortunately true." He whispers back, walking away back into the kitchen.

Watching him with his shoulders slumped I knew I couldn't leave him like that thinking about those words, words that I didn't even know what there were. So, grabbing a few of the dirty dishes I follow him in as the other volunteer walks out. He just put the dishes in the sink and turns on the faucet when I invade his space again.

"What did he say to you?" I ask, trying hard not to demand because that would only shut him down further.

"It doesn't matter, Sia."

"Yes it does." I press, placing my hand on his arm to get him to look back at me. "Your entire vibe changed since talking to him and whatever he said to you is making you believe his words are true. Just because he says it doesn't mean it's exactly how it is."

He sighs heavily pulling away from my touch once more as his face scrunches in emotional pain that stabs straight through my heart. "It wasn't just him saying those words. Others have said them too. So how could I not believe them when I'm constantly being told the same thing over and over again?"

"Maybe..." I say slowly, "Those who have said them are just assholes who need to go fall off a Goddamn building."

Finally a smile bursts on his face as he chuckles at my statement. "Charming." He goes back to start soaping the water.

"I don't believe them, the words, Cam. They're bullshit and completely out of context." I firmly state, still watching him.

"You don't even know what they are, what he said, Sia. How could you possibly know if you don't believe them to be true?" He huffs, looking at me once more.

I stare at him watching as his cheeks flush a little from my staring. Stepping even closer to him where my front slightly presses against his side, I whisper, "I don't need to know them to know they aren't true. No matter what they are or what they have told you I will never believe them Cameron. Because as much as you try so hard to push me in their category I'm nothing like the people you had to deal with in your life. One day you're finally going to wake up and see that I'm what you've been looking for."

His mouth slightly opens in surprise not a sound coming out as a single tear finally falls. Quickly closing it the light in his eyes dim once more as he looks away from me. "You're saying that now, but once you find out the truth you'll just do the same thing the rest of them has done."

I frown, feeling frustration rising in the pit of my gut. With shoulders deflating I feel like I wasn't going to get anywhere with him. What the hell did I have to do to make him realize I wanted him in all the ways I could possibly get?

"And you're not going to enlighten me on this so called truth to where I can determine whether or not for myself?" I gritted out.

He swallows hard before he whispers ever so softly, "I'm not ready to lose you just yet."

My heart slams against my chest at the words that sounded so broken. I would have kissed him right then and there but the volunteer along with Mrs. Lawson comes in the kitchen just then talking animatedly about the whole day and the families who seemed interested in some of the children.

Cameron starts doing the dishes as if we weren't having a very serious conversation. His last words stuck with me all the way until it was time to go home. But if he thinks I was just going to back away tonight he was dead wrong. I don't know what it was that was said to make him fully believe that there was something wrong with him, that if found out no one would ever want him, but I had a feeling that even if I did find out that I would ever back away from him.

Because the truth of the matter is I didn't care what it was. Whatever he did, whatever he has done or whatever he couldn't do. I wanted him, I wanted to be with him always. And to me nothing else mattered.