Welcome to the family || Johnnie Guilbert story

The first video - Chapter 1

Emily's P.O.V

I woke up due to my poster falling down and hitting me in the face, fun. I sat up in my bed an threw the poster on the floor, rubbing my eyes. I picked up my phone to check what time is was, 7am. I felt a panic form inside of me, thinking i would be late for school, until i realised that it was a saturday.

I've spent three years in a school that doesn't understand me. I'm not exactly what one would call "popular." To everyone in school, I am just a walking bullying target, with my blond and blue emo hair falling across my face. I'm a ghost to them. A whisper barely heard.

But there's one person who sees me, Amelia, my best friend, who burstsed into my life like a wildfire, brightening the corners I thought were forever dark. Sadly Amelia was 21. So i didn't have her help with school, but i rather have one friend then none.

The cold autumn air was filling up my room as I pulled my oversized hoodie tighter around me. I stod up and closed my window, when my phone started blasting a familiar tune.

"Emily!" Amelia's excited voice crackled through my speakers, lighting up my dim room. I could practically hear her energy bounce against the walls. "I have an idea!"

"What now?" I responded, rolling my eyes. She had new ideas every week. Sometimes they were fun, but more often than not, they made me want to retreat back into my shell.

"You should start a YouTube channel!" Her voice blasting trough the speaker. "Like, maybe you can talk about your art or even your feelings! You're so talented!"

I smirked, though it lacked humor. "You mean the feelings that everyone mocks?" I could hear her laugh on the other end, unfazed by my tone.

"Exactly! Tell your story, Emily! There are people out there like you who need to hear they're not alone. Plus, you're really good at drawing!" She paused, then added enthusiastically, "And you could share your art process!"

I sat on my bed, staring at the scattered art supplies that lay atop the comforter. Every sketch I had made over the bullying time had turned into more than crumpled paper, they were pieces of me, each hurt morphed into charcoal, paint spills, and dark lines drawn on white sheets, all raw and vulnerable. "I don't know, Ames. It.... Seems weird"

"Life is weird! But you're stronger than you think." There was a moment of silence, where I could practically see her bouncing on her toes. But the idea hung there, bleeding into my mind. It was like being offered a doorway to a bright future—all I had to do was step through, maybe i could make something out of my life.

(2 hours later)

I sat on the floor of my small bedroom setting up my makeshift recording station. My heart raced, it felt like I was standing on the precipice of something I couldn't quite see. My laptop opened in front of me, and a simple webcam stared back, its lens almost mocking the nerves on my face. This felt so weird.

I'd never had any plans on becoming a youtuber, i knew that my half-brother had an youtube chanel, i have never watched him or talked to him but i knew about it trough other social media. If your an emo in 2024 it's kinda hard to ignore other emo's, Just the way it is.

But back to reality "Just breathe," I whispered to myself, recalling the pep talks Amelia had instilled in me. "You can do this."

And then the screen lit up. "Hello" I said awkwardly, my voice barely above a whisper. I stumbled through my smal notes i had typed earlier, trying to remeber what to say. "Okay sorry guys, i have no idea what i'm doing." But I began to talk about my art, my passion—the words turned into a story with fun little facts about my life.

I found myself speaking of the loneliness, the suffocating weight of bulling, i didn't think anyone would watch this, so i could say whatever was on my mind. I talked about everying while showing my latest sketches—the characters and worlds I had created from broken pieces of my heart. It felt liberating to share the mess inside, it was like shedding layers of  clothing. I got done filming and sent it to Amelia, asking her to edit it.

But the world was not as hyped as me about this. The next day, I logged in to my youtube to look how it was going. My heart ended up stoping when i saw that i had 20.000 views, i scrolled down to look at the comments, Most of the comments where posetive but the negetive ones really stood out. They left my heart racing for all the wrong reasons. "Emo freak," "cringe," "just seek real help." I stared at the glowing screen, tears pricking my eyes.

As I sat in silence, holding my phone and watching the notifications roll in, a gentle knock interrupted my spiraling thoughts. Amelia swung the door open, "Sorry, your mom let me in." Before I could respond, her smile crashing down dramatically on her face when she saw me.

"What happened?" she asked, rushing over. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"

I hesitated, unsure if I could voice how deeply their words had cut into me. "I... I didn't think it would be like this. I didn't think anyone would watch this."

Amelia sat down beside me, even as I shied away from her warmth. "You put yourself out there, Em. That takes guts, What did you expect? You're gonna have haters, but look." She tapped her phone screen, pulling up my video amid the ugly comments. "You also have support! Look at all the positive messages!"

I turned towards her, confusion peppering my face. "What support? All I see are the people who want to tear me down."

"Let them. You're not going to please everyone, and you shouldn't have to. Focus on the ones who found you, who think your intressting, who resonate with your art." She pointed to the growing list of positive comments "You're inspiring. Just keep going."

Tears slipped down my cheeks, but this time, they weren't only born from despair. Maybe there was a community out there that needed me as much as I needed them, maybe my life could get a meaning from this.

That night, as the laptop glowed softly, I thought about filming a new video. I got on instagram and saw that i had 1000 new followers, i posted a story asking for questions for a Q&A. After a few hours i sat down on my floor to film. "Hi, everyone," I said softly. "I asked you all to ask some questions on my instagram that i'm gonna answar today! Okay so the first question is..."

Amelia watched from my bedside, her expression a blend of pride and encouragement. At that moment, surrounded by my sketches and under her watchful gaze, I felt a smal glimse of something like hope.

I wasn't just a girl lost in her own shadow anymore. Maybe I was carving my way back to the colors I thought I had lost, one pixel at a time.

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