Welcome to the family || Johnnie Guilbert story

Amilia - Chapter 10

Emily's P.O.V

The walls of my new room felt like they were closing in on me, suffocating me in a silence that was as loud as any scream. The faint sounds of life outside filtered through the window, but they felt light-years away, like a distant planet I would never visit. I curled up on my bed, a mass of blankets tangled around me. My fingers traced the bandages on my arms, the remnants of a pain that felt more like an old friend than a memory.

My phone vibrated on the bedside table, breaking the silence. I grabbed it, and a flicker of hope ignited in my chest when I saw Amelia's name flash on the screen. I needed to talk to her, she always made the world seem a little brighter, even if just for a moment.

"Come on, pick up," I muttered as I pressed the screen to my ear.

"Emily!" Amelia's voice erupted like a burst of confetti, instantly cutting through the darkness that had been my constant companion. "I've missed you! How's it going? Are you okay?"

I bit my lip to hold back a sob. "I... I just got home from the hospital. Or not home home, my mom forced me to live with Johnnie for awhile. It's really hard, Amelia. I feel lost."

"Oh, well maybe it's for the best that you lives with someone that understands what your going trough..." Amelia said, trailing off.

"Mhm" was all i could say, feeling the tears in my eyes as i thought about my mom. I was to much for her to care for.

"I can't stand it when you say that!" Her voice turned serious, a shadow crossing her voice. "You're so much stronger than this. You—wait, are you crying?"

"Yes..." I said, my voice cracking. "I'm just so tired of feeling this way. It doesn't matter what I try, I feel like I'm drowning."

There was a pause on the line, her silence making my heart race. "I'm coming over. We can do something fun. I'll bring the sparkle! You just need...something different! We can—"

"No, Amelia." I cut her off, my voice a whisper. "I don't want to just pretend I'm okay. I want to feel okay. But I don't know how."

"Let me help you! I mean, it's possible..." she started, her tone shifting. "How about we do something a little crazy? Just for tonight? I know some stuff... I swear it will make you feel better. It always help me."

"Stuff?" I ventured, my heart pounding at what she might mean. My breath quickened, teetering on the precipice of desperation. "What kind of stuff?"

"Nothing too intense!" she reassured, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, even though she knew I could hear every word. "It's just... a little something to take the edge off. It'll be fun."

I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, and yet a part of me, an insatiable part, burned with curiosity. I didn't want to hurt anymore; I didn't want to feel heavy and sad. "But what if someone finds out?"

"I'm sure nobody will, Come on, and Johnnie will just think you're out with me. You can sneak out, and who cares? It's only one night!" She was encouraging, her excitement infectious.

I stared at the ceiling, the lights buzzing above me like angry bees. Should I really? Did I feel brave enough to go against the careful world Johnnie was trying to build for me? I knew how he worried, all those sleepless nights spent waiting for me to feel better, to be safe, his face drawn and anxious.

But that's just it; I was tired of feeling like a burden. I wanted, for once, to feel normal. "Okay," I said softly, my heart racing at my own boldness. "I'll meet you outside."

I hung up and sat still for a moment, my heart pounding with both fear and anticipation. I took a deep breath, wiped the tears from my face, and walked towards the door where Johnnie sat busy in the couth, watching TV. Jake still wasn't home so at least i didn't have to worry about two worried people.

"Hey," Johnnie greeted without looking up, his black hair casting a shadow over his eyes as he hunched over a box of popcorn. "How's it going?"

"Uh, fine. Can I go out?" The words tumbled out without much thought, my stomach doing somersaults.

He looked up, his brows knitting together in concern. "Where to? It's already late, Em. You should probably stay in and rest. I don't want you getting overwhelmed."

"Just to see my friend Amelia, she's at the park. We have... things to talk about. Please?" I begged, trying to catch a glimpse of the brother I loved behind that protective exterior.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I don't know, Em. You just got out of the hospital, and you need to take it easy."

"I get that," I said, my voice rising. "But I'm not a fragile glass doll. I need to... to feel something other than this pain. Just let me go!"

His expression softened a bit, but it still carried resistance. "Fine, but you have to be back by midnight. Call me when you get there and back. If you need anything, I'll tell Jake to pick you up."

I tried to suppress a grin. "Okay, deal!"

"Promise me you won't—"

"—do anything stupid? I promise! I swear!" I shot back, heart fluttering.

He gave me a scrutinizing look, clearly still torn about letting me go but eventually nodded with a reluctant acceptance.

I darted from the house, the cool night air wrapping around me like a ghostly embrace. The city glimmered with lights, vibrant and alive, just waiting for me to join it. I felt a spark of something I hadn't felt in a while, excitement. Excitement that tonight would provide a temporary escape from the shadows lurking within me.

No, I still didn't know how to navigate my feelings, but as I made my way toward Amelia, a thought budded in my mind, every story starts with a single step, and tonight, I was doing drugs.

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