𝙋𝙤𝙣𝙙 𝙇𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙨 || 𝘼𝙣𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙮 𝘽𝙧𝙞𝙙𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙤𝙣

Chapter 24

Anthony had seen many at their wit's end; he bleakly liked to remind himself. He had borne the pain and duty of a family man while his mother mourned. He'd watched Daphne struggle to make sense of her difficult affections for the Duke, making him realize his own mistakes in putting his hat into the ring of decisions. In both scenarios...he was not a comfort and never had a soft word or well-thought thing to give to either member of his family. Words had failed him completely, whisked in his mind like a never-ending whirlpool. He knew himself a man of few words and much less one bearing vulnerable affections upon the ones he cared for most on this Earth.

The dark-skinned woman before him was no exception but had set herself far from the crowd of women he knew, those who resided in his halls as the dearest creatures he expected to meet in this life. Haggardly, she sat silent, her tired eyes telling him more than he had to ask, plunging his heart to his feet.

"I did not know her name," Was the final whispering from her, pouring out from the cracked organs of her throat. She neither cried nor broke apart in hysteria. She simply sat.

There was no fire, no fury in her feelings towards Dryden or Anthony's invasion of her carriage. He let it stay silent, for he knew nothing else,  and he prayed his presence enough could bring any emotion to her dull-shaded face. Where were the bursting cries of hatred, the tears that put the most grief-stricken to shame? Where was the Rosheen he had grown to know so intimately, as if she had dissected herself before him, showing each vessel and interworking that made her so damned perfect?

She showed no reaction to his touch, stuck in an all-consuming haze. It pained him to take advantage of it, his grasp on her hands coaxing her closer. He took one hand away, wrapping it around her waist so as not to let her fall on the carriage's floor as he transported her to the other side beside him, their thighs pressed together. He gave it no mind this was the first time he had gotten to touch her in months, how passionate this scene could be. A face as sullen as hers seemed to drown any other emotion, trumping it with the sort of worriments Anthony swore had left his heart all those years ago. Rosheen let herself lean closer, her head awkwardly sitting on his shoulder, balancing uncomfortably on her ear. Even at the odd angle she did not pull away, her muscles relaxing against him as he let one hand rub her arm, gently making patterns with his fingers. 

"She was at a party with him, not of the usual ton, but...still beside Dryden. I do not tell you this as revenge or to have you leave your situation. You know part of it, perhaps the worst of his sins. I...I have no words except hateful ones towards the man as I already left him to the fate of his own devices, flailing like an absolute imbecile,"

"I thought...thought I'd get to rest, you know? I've put myself through so much from my nativity and others' comfort, and this...this is what I win? It is my fault, I am sure of that, but the origin does not lessen the pain he has instilled into my heart for the years to come," She lamented, her head slowly turning with each soft thump of the carriage's wheels.

"It is not too late; separation is always an option,"

Rosheen laughed bitterly, her cold breath hitting his jaw, "It is a sinner's choice. No, Anthony. You do not know the absolute disaster that would cause. My family would  practically disown me, never lending a hospitable hand to me ever again. Neither will Lady Danbury! I have been nothing but extra costs for her, whether she voices that or not,"

Even with a million words and raging thoughts storming in his mind, he couldn't think of anything else to say. He wholeheartedly disagreed with Rosheen; honestly, he always did on many topics. It had been months since they shared the same opinion on something. He knew it was not because they were so opposed, so incredibly different, but because of this damned wall they had built up. Perhaps the worst part was how only he saw it, the impenetrable fortress she closed herself in, half her choice, half fate's.

His arms enveloped her closer, gently tightening his grasp at each small minute they afforded to one another. Anthony waited for her to push him away, but she did not. Her head fell lower, craning out of exhaustion and tucking underneath his chin. It couldn't be comfortable, but she was as still as a statue through it all, nestling herself closer. His breath almost caught as he felt that small, surrendering movement blistering his heart further.

After the silent moment only filled with the soft breeze of the early evening and the horse's steady hooves, the carriage stopped. The footman shuffled quickly outside, causing Rosheen to distance herself not as much as she should to hide such a moment but still farther than what Anthony could bear. They stepped out together, not saying a word as they made it to the door. Anthony did not want to leave her yet as he watched her dazed movements, unsteady and tired as she stood there, giving him one last look. Something glinted in her eyes for half a second, probably tears more than anything else, but Anthony selfishly took it as something more, a hand tentatively reaching for her back as he gently ushered her in. Rosheen conceded, trudging onwards into the estate with him.

Everything remained the same in the manor as it had been the previous season. The pink tints and hues still decorated the walls, making the rooms feel a bit warmer. The servants on the first floor said nothing as Rosheen just shook her head to one of their whispers, all sensing that their mistress's niece could not handle any sort of gossip right now, either fragility or rage becoming her if it one of them loosened their lip on the occasion of a gentleman, one not being her husband, escorting her up to her room.

In that way, Anthony presumed Lady Danbury's home was a haven in that regard, belonging to a widow with liberal beliefs who could care less for the control of men. Even so, he hoped they would not cross paths with her right now. Anthony didn't think he could tear himself away from Rosheen right now and felt guilty over his selfishness in taking up her time. He was sure she would want time alone to think over all that happened, to process the heartbreaking realization that her husband was not as half as faithful as her.

In the back of his mind, he had thought Dryden to be unfaithful for years but never did muster the courage to lay that out to her, partly knowing she would not listen. Rosheen continued to be a force to reckon with, one he was painfully aware he'd always lose to, whether it be an argument of their past or fast-paced dueling that would fill him with much more...unsavory revelations about himself.

Once they made it to what he assumed to be her chambers at her halt, Anthony let his hand slip from her back, placing it behind his back with his other hand, both tightening and fidgeting restlessly. Rosheen turned back to him, her expression endlessly tired as she addressed him in a defeated sigh, "Thank you for being here with me, even for a carriage ride." His heart ached, watching the kindness seep out of her lips even after so much. "It was nothing, just my duty,"

"I will be at your estate tomorrow, Eloise has made it clear she commands it," She softly smiles, the facial muscles strained at such a movement, "Please make sure she knows that, as I fear she thinks me hanging onto some craven scruples as of late,"

"You've never been close to a coward." the words flew out of his mouth, making Anthony bite the side of his mouth in embarrassment at his ever-constant praise of the woman. Rosheen's tired smile only tilted in amusement.

"Goodnight, Anthony." She finally whispered, the name painstakingly ringing in his ears as he was only able to nod at her as she disappeared into the room, closing it with a soft click. He stood there a minute longer, unable to move his footing. It was all too familiar, the déjà vu giving him a sickly feeling. Though he was sure this exact moment would continue again and again. 

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A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the quick and way overdue update on this story, work and school have been awful recently, and I've had no time for writing. I wasn't sure how to keep going with Anthony's and Rosheen's interactions as they both are having an absolutely awful time that will get much worse. Anyways! The next chapter will be longer MUCH longer than this and a lot more happy.