Professor?

Chapter 1.

New Beginning 

Zaheer's  Point Of View

I was 22 years old when I started as a freshman in college. I was somewhat gifted in school—even high school went by like a breeze, and I graduated with a 4.0 GPA. Life seemed perfect; everyone thought so. To my parents, I was the perfect daughter. Even I thought of myself that way, trying to mask my sadness, anger, self-hatred, and insecurities. I started taking substances—a lot of them. I remember the day my younger and older sisters walked into my room and found me with substances laced on my face, my body numb.

It had always been like that. When I was about 12, I was severely bullied, so I had to be homeschooled. The school didn't do  one shit and try to help, they just said " They were just fooling around. They are just kids after all".  Some people might say that childhood trauma or bullying doesn't affect a person, but it does—it affects you, one way or another.

I remember my second attempt. The cold water on my skin, and maybe, in those moments, my past self thought I'd finally be free of the emptiness I had been trying to escape my entire life. I just wanted to be free. Sometimes I thought it was me—maybe I was the problem.

The ice-cold water filled the tub, the pipe dripping. I stared at my dull skin, the circles under my eyes, my thin body—for one last time. I took the last substance I had, feeling my head start to go light, in a way that felt good. I started to feel dizzy, lifeless, as I heard muffled voices calling my name, "Zaheer, Zee," over and over. I couldn't move as the water pulled me in more and more. I remember the day I went to rehab; it helped, it really did. We gathered in a circle, sharing dreams and aspirations, talking about what we wanted from life.

When I woke up in the hospital after my second attempt, I saw my family's faces. The question echoed around me: "Why did you do that? Why did you want to kill yourself?"

My mother tapped my shoulder as I packed my bag. "I'm so proud of you, baby," she said, and we shared a brief hug. My dad, "Pops," was waiting in the living room to take me to the airport, along with my younger sister Amber. I had two sisters, Amber and Tiffany. Tiffany owned a makeup brand—actually, it was the best-selling in the country—but we didn't really have much of a relationship. If we didn't talk, we didn't have to, and that's the way we both preferred it.

"You ready, Zee?" Pops asked.
"Yes, sir," I said, smiling.
"Alright, kiddos, let's go," he said, grabbing the car keys.

Amber got into the back seat. "I'm taking your PlayStation, Zee," she said.
I swear, I almost snapped my neck looking back at her. "I hope you get  Aids when you touch  it," I replied.
"Hey, language!" Pops said.

Amber gave me a devilish smile and mouthed, "I hope you choke, bitch"
I mouthed back, "I hope you get alopecia, hoe."

I tied up my twists at the back, annoyed by the feeling of hair on my shoulders. Eventually, we arrived at the airport and said our goodbyes.

*******

I checked into the first-class seat I was assigned and had specifically booked a window seat. I put on my headphones, listening to Daniel Caesar:

If you ever start to wonder
Why all the rain and all the thunder follows her around
You better cut that girl loose
Most of the time everything's fine
But as soon as she starts to whine

If you have no patienceYou better cut that girl loose
What are you, a coward?
Who are you helping?
You got the power

Then do what you said you can
And do it for herYou better cut that girl loose....

As I started sketching on my iPad, a flight attendant tapped my shoulder. "Would you like anything to drink? We have apple juice, coffee, champagne, and water," she listed with a big smile.

I sat up. "Water, please," I said. She handed me the water, and I took a sip as I finished my sketch. I was on my way to college to major in Architecture and Engineering.

As I silently hummed along to the music playing in my head, the eight-hour flight finally came to an end. I took a deep breath, feeling both excitement and nervousness as I stepped off the plane, knowing this was the start of a new chapter in my life.

Arriving on campus, I walked over to the dorms where a friendly woman at the front desk greeted me. She handed me a key with a welcoming smile. "Room 36," she said. I thanked her, took the key, and headed down the hallway toward my new dorm.

When I reached the door, I noticed the faint sound of shuffling inside, and I realized my roommate had already arrived. As I pushed open the door, I found a girl unpacking her things on the opposite side of the room. She looked up and gave me a warm smile. Her wavy dark hair fell around her face, and she had a bright, easygoing look that put me a little more at ease.

"Hey! I'm Ari," she said, extending a hand.

"Zaheer," I replied, shaking her hand with a small smile. I could tell right away that Ari had a warm, welcoming vibe.

I had made sure to bring a new mattress with me. Who knew what had happened on the one the dorms provided? I didn't want to think about the past lives of these college mattresses—who had slept on them or what they might contain. Bumping coochies, bed bugs, hearing kids at night while I'm trynna sleep. Fuck. No. I set up the new mattress, feeling oddly proud of my precautionary measures, and then got to work cleaning and unpacking my things.

Ari watched me, laughing a little. "You're taking no chances with that, huh?"

"Not at all," I replied, chuckling as I wiped down my desk. "Better safe than sorry."

As we both settled in, Ari glanced over at me. "So, what are you studying?"

"Architecture and Engineering," I answered, setting my notebooks in a neat pile. "You?"

"Business finance," she replied, leaning back against her bed.

"Nice," I said, genuinely impressed. "It takes a lot of patience to handle that. I think I'd go cross-eyed trying to keep track of every detail."

She laughed. "I get that. But hey, Architecture and Engineering? That sounds intense  as fuck ."

I shrugged, smiling. "I'm ready for it, though. Been waiting a while to start."

Ari glanced at my hair and smiled. "I like your hair, by the way. It really suits you."

"Appreciate it," I said with a nod, grateful for the compliment. I tied my twists back, feeling a bit more comfortable with her around.

As we finished unpacking and organizing, we made small talk, trading stories about our families, favorite foods, and our hometowns. It felt good to share pieces of our lives, and I could already tell Ari and I were going to get along well. Maybe this was a new beginning....

A/N: I'm sorry this chapter sounds boring, but I promise it gets better.