SHADOWS OF DECEIT

Chapter 18

Samuel's jaw was clenched tight as he pushed Joshua into the passenger seat of his old Fiat, his eyes blazing with an anger Joshua rarely saw from him. Without a word, Samuel jumped into the driver's seat, the car barely settling before he turned the key, the engine roaring to life. 

His hands gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, his whole body tense and trembling. The streetlights blurred past them as he hit the gas, fury practically vibrating through him as he navigated the deserted roads.

"What the hell were you thinking tonight?" Samuel's voice was sharp, breaking the silence in a way that left no room for argument. 

"What, you thought jumping into a fight with the Claws was some kind of... of brave thing? Some twisted necessity?" His words came out in bursts, but the frustration, the deep-seated fear under it, was evident. 

"I can't—I can't keep watching you do this impulsive shit, Joshua. Like... like it's inevitable, like there's no other choice but to get involved in this madness."

Joshua's mouth opened, but before he could respond, Samuel hit the steering wheel with his fist, the sound echoing harshly in the small space. 

"Every damn time, I'm left cleaning up the messes, trying to make sure they don't swallow you whole," Samuel continued, his voice thick, almost breaking. 

"I've done everything I can to keep you out of this—to keep you safe. And what do you do? You throw yourself into a den of wolves like it's nothing, and you think it's some righteous act?"

Samuel's voice wavered, his eyes gleaming in the dim light, and Joshua realized he was holding back tears, the weight of helplessness and worry all too evident. Samuel's grip on the wheel tightened, his shoulders hunched, and when he spoke again, his voice was a choked whisper. 

"I try so damn hard, Josh. Every single day, I try to keep you away from all of this, and every single day it gets harder. Tonight... tonight you let yourself be dragged into something you don't even understand."

Joshua swallowed, feeling the sting of Samuel's words settle heavily in his chest. There was truth in them, bitter and undeniable, and it only added to the ache he felt, deep and unrelenting. Finally, he found his voice, rough and barely more than a whisper. 

"Did you think this is what I wanted?" His gaze fixed on Samuel, a storm brewing in his own eyes now. 

"Did you think I asked for any of this? That I wanted to be used, put on display like some... some bet? Like I'm just some thing they can barter?"

The words tasted bitter, each one laden with the hurt he'd been trying to bury. 

"Do you know what it felt like, Samuel? To stand there, surrounded by people who see me as nothing more than a pawn in some twisted game? I didn't ask for this—I didn't ask to be dragged into your world, Seokmin's world, any of it."

"Look, you shouldn't be getting this tangled up in their world, Joshua. Shadows, Claws—this place, it's...it's dangerous. You're a healer, not—" he stopped, seeming unsure how to phrase it without sounding patronizing.

"A fighter? A risk-taker?" Joshua's voice was hollow. "You think I don't know that, Sam? You think I don't feel like an outsider every time I step into this world?"

The car was quiet for a moment, filled only with their ragged breaths. Samuel's anger faltered, his face crumbling just slightly as he took in Joshua's expression, the raw hurt etched into every line. 

"I know you didn't ask for it," he said finally, his voice softer now, more broken. "But Joshua... you didn't have to make it worse. You didn't have to put yourself at risk like that. I—"