It hurts that I could only see him from a far, hate that I could not hold him, hate that I could not tell him how much I love his smile,
hate that I don't have the courage to talk afraid that he would think I'm some kind of weird girl,
I was fine from watching him from a far but as time passed by,
I saw him becoming someone else's, and I was left behind watching them in front me
it hurts seeing him with someone else, how i wish it was me, how i wish it was me who he looked with love.
How i wish it was me who he loved to hold hands, but i couldn't do anything,
When I had to let go of him, i often wonder what if I had the courage to talk with him? Would we have been good friends? Or maybe something more than that.
It hurts to look at him with someone else but the way I saw him smiling at her I knew I had to let go
but oh how it hurts the smile that once warmth my heart now seeing the reason behind his smile kinda hurts me. I know it was selfish of me for wanting him all for myself without even talking to him, how silly of me to believe I had a place in his life without even being brave enough to try.
Maybe in another universe I had the courage to tell him how much I loved seeing his smile.
I told myself it was better this way—
to keep my love hidden, untouched,
rather than watch it wilt in his indifference,
holding back every word that ached to reach him.
I was so insecure of being rejected that I would rather lie then tell him I was in love with him....
- author p
