Shadow of Us

Chapter 3 - Thomas

The soft hum of the hospital around me seemed to fade into the background. The muted light outside cast long shadows across the office as I sat, staring out the window. The city was beginning to settle, dim lights flickering in buildings across from mine. I should've been going home soon, but my thoughts were too restless. They always came back to her. To Julia. Every time I remembered the way we'd left things, that guilt tightened, reminding me how much I'd messed up. Every year we spent apart felt like a weight pressing down on me, a burden that I should have carried alone, yet I'd left her to shoulder it. Everything I'd done, all my choices... they'd hurt her, and there was no taking that back.

I never meant for things to go the way they had. I didn't intend to hurt her, to shatter what we'd had, but the damage was done. She'd looked at me with so much trust back then, so much loyalty. She let me into her life in a way few others ever did. I wanted her to look at me like that again. I wanted to be the one she relied on. I was her safe place once. She had trusted me with parts of herself she didn't show anyone else, she let me see the parts of herself that no one else could, and I broke that trust. I let her down. I could still picture the hurt in her eyes when I left. I was supposed to be there for her, to be the one person she could lean on no matter what. Instead, I left her with nothing but a memory of broken promises. How could I have let her down like that? What was I thinking, leaving her after everything we'd been through?

After all, I wanted to be the person she thought of as hers. But could I really undo years of distance, of her hiding those hurt parts of herself behind walls I'd helped build? She had once called me her favourite person, and now, I'd give anything to be that for her again.

All I wanted now was to make it right, to make up for it somehow. I want her to trust me again, to see me as that safe place once more. I want her to look at me without the walls between us, to find her comfort in me, to... God, I just want her to see me again like she used to. If I could be her favourite person again, the one she felt safe with... that would be enough. But that's easier said than done.

But a part of me couldn't help wondering if that was possible. I wonder if it's even possible to rebuild what we had, or if I'm just dreaming of a second chance that'll never come. Too much time had passed, and I couldn't erase the pain I'd caused. The years between us are filled with hurt, pain I can't erase.

Even if she let me in again, I didn't deserve it. I'd spent years pretending that losing her was for the best, convincing myself I was doing the right thing by focusing on my career. But now, seeing her ignoring my gaze, watching her guard slip just slightly when she thought no one was looking. I wanted to be there for her. To be hers. Completely.

A noise from outside pulled me from my thoughts. I glanced up as the door opened, expecting my last patient of the shift. The man who stepped in didn't look like he was here for a check-up. There was something off—a flicker of hostility in his eyes, a stiffness in his stance. Before I could even react, he moved.

He was on me in seconds, grabbing my coat, his other hand clenched in a fist. The first blow was a shock, pain flashing through my jaw as he swung again. I stumbled, catching sight of the glint of metal in his hand—a knife. Panic flared, and I tried to twist away, to put space between us.

But before I could, Julia was there. She moved between us like it was second nature, a barrier I hadn't expected but was relieved to have. She didn't hesitate, her stance solid, focused entirely on protecting me. It was like everything else had disappeared for her; she was entirely in the moment, facing him head-on.

He lunged, the knife in his hand flashing toward her. She ducked out of its reach, but his elbow hit her hard. I saw her wince, her hand moving to her side as she staggered and fell. Security burst through the door, pulling him off, but I didn't care—I was already at her side, kneeling down next to her as she gasped for air.