Shadow of Us

Chapter 4 - Julia

The rain poured down relentlessly, drumming against the car roof in a dull, steady rhythm, but I barely noticed it. My pulse still raced, my breaths coming quick and shallow as I gripped the steering wheel, trying to ground myself. It all replayed in flashes—the chaos, the sound of fists hitting flesh, the glint of a knife, and my instinct to throw myself in front of it without thinking. Without a single damn hesitation. The past few minutes played over and over in my mind, each replay sharper, clearer. I'd thrown myself in front of a knife for Thomas. For Thomas. I'd nearly gotten myself killed, all for his safety.

The thought hit me like a punch to the gut, and my eyes widened as I stared out into the rain. What was I doing? This was supposed to be a job. I was supposed to do it. So why did I feel differently? I've never felt a bigger urge to throw myself in front of someone to block a shot or a knife. This was different and I didn't know why, because I was sure as hell, I didn't love him anymore.

What the hell was I thinking? Stepping in front of a knife, putting myself on the line without a second thought? I should've been cool, calculated—the way I'd trained myself to be. A professional bodyguard doesn't lose her head like that. But seeing him there, in danger... It felt like instinct, something I couldn't stop. The realisation made me bite my lip in irritation. This job was supposed to be simple, a task with lines I wouldn't cross. And he was making it damn near impossible to keep those lines intact.

It was infuriating, how quickly he chipped away at my coldness, like it was nothing. The way he looked at me, his eyes filled with that infuriating concern while he took care of my injuries—it weakened my resolve in ways I couldn't stand. I hated it. Hated how much he still seemed to care. He had no right to act like he gave a damn, not after seven years ago. Not after he'd left without a word, without so much as a backward glance. He took the easy way out, while I stayed behind, forced to rebuild myself from the ground up. My jaw clenched, letting that familiar bitterness settle back in, cooling the flames inside me.

The passenger door creaked open, jolting me from my thoughts. Thomas slipped inside, his dark hair a mess, soaked through and sticking to his forehead. Rainwater dripped from his clothes onto the seat, pooling around him. I hadn't even noticed it was raining.

"You alright?" he asked, his voice low and steady, but I could hear the concern underneath it, like a whisper he couldn't quite hide. His gaze found mine, eyes as dark as the rain-soaked night outside, and for a moment, I could see traces of the old Thomas in them—thoughtful, almost... worried.

I kept my eyes forward. "I'm fine," I said, tone sharp. "You should be more worried about yourself. A head injury isn't something to take lightly, doctor Reed."

He sighed at the name, a subtle flicker of something I couldn't—or wouldn't—identify flashing in his eyes. Calling him that, so formal, so distant—it felt right, safer. Each syllable was a reminder of the walls between us, the distance I'd fought to create and that he'd made necessary. He held my gaze, his expression softening just a fraction as if there were something he wanted to say, something too delicate to reach across the years that stretched between us. Finally, he spoke. "You saved my life back there."

After a long time of silence he spoke again. "Julia..." His voice was low, almost a whisper, carrying a warmth that felt foreign in the cold, confined space of my car. But I didn't let myself flinch; I kept my expression steady, arms folded across my chest in a defensive stance I'd perfected for him.

My lips pressed together, cold and resolute, giving nothing away. "Just doing my job." The words fell sharp and deliberate, a barrier between us, almost clinical. There was no warmth, no lingering trace of anything other than that finely honed distance I'd crafted over the years. He'd lost the right to more than that—at least, that's what I told myself, even as I felt the tension between us tighten, thick in the air.