I don't move for a few seconds. Dead? I start to hyperventilate for a few seconds as I look between Mrs. Medina and Mrs. Bentley. Mrs. Medina has firm grip on my knee and I try to focus on the feeling of it instead of how fast my blood is pumping through my head. She starts to say something and I can see her lips moving but I don't hear anything coming out. I blink and my mouth hangs open. The world seems to be getting darker around the edges until there is nothing left. My view is black and I can feel my head hit something. Then I'm gone.
-
When I come back to earth, I try to open my eyes and end up shutting them again because the light is so bright. I lay there a few minutes and try to get my bearings.
Right as I go to get up, the bell rings and I remember I'm at school. I realize I'm in the nurses office on one of the cots wrapped in the thin sheet paper they have set up. The memory is like the opening to a floodgate. I suddenly remember everything. My mom. She's gone.
I get up and peek around the corner, looking around the office. I can see people walking out of the school. I look at the clock above the door and see that its time to go home. I turn around and start to look for my stuff. My bag is under the counter, my phone next to the sink. On it there's a small pink sticky note: Rosaline- when you wake up, come to my office -Medina
I walk out and hesitantly knock on the door frame of her office. She looks up from some paper work she's filling out. "Come in. Please close the door."
I close it then I sit down in front of her desk. She gives me an earnest look, one of sympathy and sadness. "How did it happen?" I ask quietly.
"We got a call this morning from the police. The man said there was a concerned neighbor who hadn't seen anybody come in or out of the house for a few weeks. They went to check on it and when no one answered the door, they broke it in. They found her on the couch. I'll spare you some...details but they found an empty pill bottle with some assorted pills left in it."
My pills. She was in my room. I nod.
"I'm sorry sweetie. Do you need to be picked up? We can call someone."
"No. I'll be fine to drive. Its not that far."
"Alright. Don't feel obligated to come to school next week. I'll have your teachers send you your assignments."
I nod again, say thank you and leave. I get in my car and start to drive home. I don't know how to feel. At first I'm just plain relieved. She abused me, neglected me and left me to fend for myself for the last 9 months. She doesn't have the chance to do it anymore. Then I'm broken. She was my last family member around. She didn't leave like dad did. She stayed even if she wasn't completely aware of anything. She was all I had left. And now she's gone. I remember all the times she laughed or held me or Sky when we were sad or in pain or heartbroken. I remember her tough love and shopping trips with her. She would always try on the most ridiculous things in the store to try and embarrass us but we would just laugh.
I remember family dinners and her watching movies with us. I remember how she and dad would swing us around when we were really little and call us monkeys. She used to play the tickle monster and tackle us. She played with our hair and let us do her makeup. Skylar would do her hair up in about 6 different piggytails all over her had and I would put bright green and blue eyeshadow and this hideous red lipstick and she would always smile and laugh and compliment us on our beautician skills and give us huge hugs then let us go pick out an outfit for her. It usually involved this neon pink boa and leg warmers she kept from the 80's then she would take us to the store to go grocery shopping. We'd get the weirdest looks and she couldn't care any less because she was just proud that her daughters did it.
By the time I got home, tears were streaming down my face and I couldn't see very well. I walk in the front door and cry out for Tyler. I bounce up the steps and when he opens his bedroom door, I run to him. He opens his arms and I hug him tightly and start blubbering.
"I'm so sorry Tyler! I was mad for no reason and I can't lose you please don't hate me I'm so so sorry! She's gone now and I have no one left and I've been so lonely without you to talk to at night because I can't sleep and Christian probably won't ever talk to me again and I'm sorry."
He leads me over to the bed and makes me sit down. I can barely see him but I can tell he's sitting right in front of me. He reaches for my hand and waits until I'm breathing again to talk. "Rosaline, what's going on?"
"My mom is dead and-" I can't finish the sentence because I can't breath again. At this point, I'm so worked up that I'm doing the little stutter breathing thing where you can't talk without stuttering and it just makes you get more worked up because you just want to communicate.
He pulls me down and into his lap and I hold his hand tightly and slowly stutter out what I'm trying to say. "My mom is dead and Christian called me a bitch because I was being one and I was mean to you and I don't want you to go anywhere. Please don't leave me."
"Rosaline. Breathe." He waits for me to breathe deeply a few times. He wipes the tears away and when I look up at him, I can see the concerned look on his face finally. "What do you mean she's dead?"
"She over dosed. With my pills."
"That's impossible. I flushed yours down the toilet."
"If you really think that's the only bottle I had, you're sadly mistaken. I had back-up plans, Tyler. I was determined."
He shuts his eyes tightly. "I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that. Alright. What did you do to Christian?" He opens his eyes again.
"I told him that if he didn't stop having feelings for me then we would have to take a break. I didn't want you to be jealous."
He tries not to smile and fails. "You shouldn't have done that. That's not very nice." He says mockingly.
I laugh a little bit and the tears start to slow.
"I don't care how he feels about you as far as whether I'm going anywhere or not. I've told you before, you couldn't get rid of me if you tried. I get it now. You love me. I got it. Loud and clear."
"Okay good."
"Just try to relax now okay? You've had a pretty hard week. You can borrow my room for a while to take a nap if you want. We'll figure out what to do next afterward okay?"
I nod and crawl under the covers and start to think too much.
