That night I actually remember my dream for the first time since the accident. The last thing I remember being awake for was Tyler rubbing my back.
The next thing I know, I'm sitting in a field. I'm surrounded by bright yellow, pink and white wild flowers, the sound of wind brushing through the tall grass and plants around me, and the enveloping warmth of the sunshine. I can barely see above the grass so instead I don't try. I just lay back and close my eyes. I can hear the rustling of the dry land and I blink my eyes open again to see a couple of blue butterflies chasing each other, dancing across my field of view. Everything is so relaxing but for some unknown reason, all my nerves seem to be anticipating danger.
I feel someone coming before I open my eyes once more. I can feel their familiar prescence, smell the perfume that used to linger in my room long after she left, bringing back a hundred memories that now seem somehow tainted. I would know her aura for a thousand years after her being gone and I can still picture her laughing and singing and dancing around the house, not a care in the world. I sit up immediatly, hoping I was right.
"Skylar?" I look all around me, standing up to get a better view. And I see her for the first time in 10 months.
She smiles at me, her naturally beautiful smile setting me back a few years mentally. Her dimples and her beautiful brown curls are a family trademark but her sky blue eyes mark her as unique. She's wearing a light blue strapless maxi dress and laughing as she's walking to me. She sticks her tongue out at me, still laughing.
"Ros, you always have stressed too much. I was wondering how you would handle everything. I've been watching you and now I know." Skylar stops right in front of me and I can't help but hug her as tightly as I can.
"God I've missed you so damn much. I'm so sorry I killed you. I'm so so sooooooo sorry. I screwed everything up and I tried to kill myself too, I wanted to be with you but he stopped me and I-" I back up and hold her at an arms length, giving her a once over, landing on her eyes, "I cannot begin to explain how much I want you home and how much I know I screwed it up."
She just giggles and shrugs off my grip. "Girl you need to calm. Down." She walks around me and just plops down on the ground next to me, pulling me down after her. We move so we're sitting across from each other and we stare into each others eyes for a few seconds just like we used to.
"What's going on Ros? I've seen most of it but I don't know what you're thinking. I don't know what's going through your head."
I think for a second. "I keep waking up...in the wrong places. Where we used to meet. Your favorite places. The theater, the park, the hall where you got asked to homecoming. The first few months it happened, I kept waking up on the side of the freeway. Right at the exit turn off where...uhm. You know." I look down an gulp. "You're so young. You haven't changed a bit either." I look back up at her. "Skylar, you're 15 years old. And you won't get any older. Ever. You barely saw high school. You didn't get to go to homecoming, or prom, or have your first date, or graduate high school! No more birthdays or...anything. Its all my fault. Mom never forgave me either. Your pictures are still up on the walls. Your room is untouched and I have to walk by it every day. You're just... gone."
"Ros, its not your fault. It never was. You need to believe me. You need to continue on with your life even though I'm not here. And you aren't alone. Don't think I don't see the way Ty looks at you. What happened between you two anyway?" She looks at me with curiousity.
"I blew up on him. I didn't think he could help me. I just assumed he would never understand me and at the time I was dead set on the idea that no one could ever make it better. It was a hurt that could never be soothed. Mom was going mad. She just sat in front of the tv all day in the same pair of dirty pajamas. She never talked and eventually, dad stopped trying to help her. He packed up his things, kissed us both on the forehead, said goodbye and left without a glance back. The next day I took out all my anger on Ty and all my friends. I broke up with him and then continued to yell at him and everyone else in the middle of the hallway.
"He tried for days to make things right but I was in my room hiding out for a week. We haven't talked since then up until recently." I shrugged. "Its different now."
"Its not different. Can I tell you a secret?" She winks at me with a mysterious look in her eye like she knows something no one else does.
I shrug again. "Go for it."
"He's in love with you. I walk around you guys all the time. I see the way he looks at you and last night he didn't leave you until morning. He was awake before you and moved. He was holding you before you left tonight. But I'm 15. What do I know right?" She grins at me.
"Wait. I left? What do you mean I left? Left where?"
She just stands up, offering me her hand to help me up. "You're imagining me, Rosaline. You know I'm right about Tyler though. Subconsciously you can feel him next to you. I'm not here. But you aren't at his house anymore. And its time for you to wake up. I love you babe." She winks at me, laughs and kisses me on the cheek and everything fades out.
