Chapter 9

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Two days have passed since Derek lost his shit. I haven't been able to have contact with anyone, Derek doesn't want people seeing the state of my face. I've mostly been locked away in my bedroom, mom sometimes will bring me food when she can, other times, I go hungry. 

I lay in bed in pajamas I've had on for two days, my stomach growls at me hoping for some food. It is close to dinner time though, so I might survive. The thought of dinner brings up memories from the other night, my stomach turns. I've tried to assess the situation at hand, is mom leaving him? Is she okay? Are we stuck in this hell hole for the rest of my senior year?  I sigh. After that night I haven't been able to think about Derek without having an anxiety attack. Of course, he's been violent and aggressive in the past, but this time was different, I was fearful for not only my life but my mom's. I feel stuck, as if there's no way out, no solution to find.  A knock softly breaks the silence in my bedroom, mom peaks her head in smiling at me softly. She looks better than she did, her swollen eyes have faded, only the caked over bruises reside, hints of green, blue and black splatches. She brings in a bowl of soup and a buttered roll, I salivate over the smell and flavors being presented in front of me.  "Thanks mom." she nods at me; I can tell she's feeling guilty. "Hey mom, when will I be able to get my phone back? I promise not to show anyone my face." I stop as her expression sinks into sadness. I continue "It's just really boring in here all day." 

She looks over the bruises on my face "I'm not sure, I can ask Derek." I get somewhat annoyed by her answer. Of course, I know it's a fat chance, but I would appreciate some sort of fight from her, but when I look in her eyes even I can tell she's given up.  "Make sure to put your ointment on your cuts." She mutters before leaving my room. I sit up more in bed trying to enjoy the soup, but the appetite I had a minute ago was practically gone. I wonder how many times Brooke has texted me. I'm positive she heard about the scene Derek caused at school, though she doesn't know the extent of his wrath I'm sure she would notice something was off once I disappeared without any communication. 

Just then, I picture Xavier, his body hovering over me, his look of confusion and anger. I feel bad about the way I talked to him, that wasn't me, it was a scared girl, wanting to protect her ass along with her mom's. I chew on my lip, all these thoughts running through my head and yet, no one to talk to about them. I can't help but feel hopeless. Tears try to form in my eyes but fail, I don't blame them. I'm sure I've run dry at this point, my cheeks and under eyes are dry and irritated by the salty mixture. 

I shoot up quickly, my soup pouring over a bit, spilling onto my hand. The door had been opened, Derek stood in the doorway, watching over me, his gaze piercing through me.
"So, you want your phone back?" His arm rests on the side of the doorframe. Wiping off the soup from my hand I nod before replying. "Yes, sir. I know the rules and I wouldn't show anyone my face." He stares a bit longer before moving closer to my bed. My body tenses up as the pressure of his weight pushes the bed down. His hand rests on my knee, making me more uncomfortable. "You know I'm sorry about what happened at dinner, right?" He watches me awaiting an answer, yet before I could he continues, his hand now rubbing my knee. "I sometimes let my anger get the best of me, but I'm trying to do better. I want to for you, and your mom. The thought of losing you two kills me." His hand grabs my knee tightly. I gulp, the fear grows in my stomach. I don't know where he is going with this. He continues "I will give you your phone back, but I will collect it at 9." I can't help but feel a little bit happy at the fact I'll have my phone, something to suppress me from boredom, but the uncomfortable feeling I have still lingers. I nod, not wanting to upset Derek or show him any reason to take back the phone or even hit me again. "Yes, sir. Thank you." He smiles grimly before handing it to me. His hand releases my knee and softly strokes the back of my head, making me feel nauseous. He pulls me in closer and lands a kiss on the top of my head. I think I may actually get sick. But before I could pull away, he walks to the door. A crooked smile still on his face, and then, I was alone once more. 

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