Since Forever

Chapter 20

Today is one of those long monotonous days. The one where every class feels a bit longer than it's supposed to. It's barely lunch time, and I already feel like I need a nap.

Maybe it's all part of my dabbles into the realms of partying this weekend. Something I will not be doing again. At least not the drinking part. I did not enjoy the repercussions it brought on the next morning. Cam was sweet though. He had some workout planned early the next morning, but he left breakfast and Tylenol on the counter.

Actually, I haven't really seen him much since that night. He's picked up on his training hours. Like right now. I'm currently filling my lunch tray with our cafeteria's finest while he's meeting with his coach about some last minute thing they needed to go over.

As I turn, I glance over at my table of friends, the ones I started the year with. They're all talking, laughing at something someone said. And then the boisterous yells from Apollo fill my chest. I pull my eyes from the table that once was and turn my attention to the place I've found a new sense of comfort in.

Apollo is standing on a chair, his over dramatic flair taking over his story. Even though Cam won't be here today, it still feels like the place I belong, so I make my way there.

"Mini Coop!" Apollo yells out before plopping back down in his chair. "You missed my weekend adventure."

"You missed nothing," Gio pipes in.

"I'm hurt, G. I'm really hurt," Apollo replies, gripping his chest.

I try to stifle the laugh that comes along with their shenanigans, but I can't seem to keep it at bay.

"Where's Camden?" Gio asks.

"Oh, he said he needed to talk to his coach about something."

The table falls quiet, and it's within the eerie silence that I pause the bite I'm about to take.

"It's Monday," Apollo begins. "Coach—ow!" He doesn't finish that thought as he reaches for his arm, rubbing the spot Gio just elbowed him in.

"Cool," Gio jumps back in. "It's getting closer to season. He always disappears as it gets closer."

I hear a huff of a laugh a few people down. I glance that way to find Donovan shaking his head, his eyes on his food. I don't know what the hell is going on, but there's a pit in my stomach. It's one I've felt before, the same gnawing feeling I had when I caught Adam with his tongue down Brittney's throat.

And it's at this moment that I scan the rest of the table. There's someone else missing from the usual party. Porcia. The way my heart yanks from my chest has me taking a breath, attempting to calm the frantic chaos at what that might mean.

"Yeah," I let out, nodding away that uneasy quiver rattling my stomach. "He gets pretty wrapped up in it."

The rest of lunch is a bit of a blur. Apollo does his thing, using his charisma to capture the attention of everyone around him. It seems to divert the awkward energy away from me. But it doesn't heal that wavering piece inside me.

And now I'm staring at my notebook, stuck in the dreaded class that is precalculus. It's the one class that just won't click and it's the absolute worst timing. I haven't seen Cam since the night of the party. His uncle came back this weekend, so I didn't really expect to see him, but I also didn't quite expect the silence either.

Did something happen the night of the party? Did I do something wrong?

"Do you need help?" someone asks beside me and the interruption has me jumping. I look over to see a laugh on Donovan's face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just noticed you're still on the first problem."

I glance down, staring at my blank paper. "Math and I don't exactly get along," I admit, lifting a smile his way.

"Here," he says, scooting closer. "Let me help you. I happen to be on good terms with numbers."

He leans over my paper, pointing out a few things, working through each problem with me. It's nice, getting help. And he seems to be pretty good at explaining the steps in a way that actually makes a little bit of sense.

I finish up the next problem on my own before passing it his way for him to check it. He looks it over, focusing on each step before a smile breaks through. He flashes a bright set of blue eyes my way. "You got it."

I can't seem to deny the smile that falls out, and I'm thankful for it. For the distraction. I begin the next one, feeling a bit like I can conquer the world as I start working through it.

"So," Donovan interrupts. "It looked like you were having fun this weekend. At the party."

A laugh huffs out before I catch the look on his face telling me he's not trying to be funny. "I don't know if fun is the word I'd use to describe my party adventure."

"What word would you use then?" he questions.

"I don't know. Maybe a bit reckless?"

He laughs, nodding his head. "Reckless can fall in the category of fun, you know?"

"Sure," I agree. "It can also fall in the category of stupidity."

"Or maybe somewhere in between?"

I pause my newfound solving expertise and look over at him. The thing about the party is I tried to be someone I'm not. Someone people wouldn't feel sorry for. It was a mistake, at least the intentions of me being there were all wrong. I wasn't there to celebrate Cam's win or to have fun. I was there to prove a point. And maybe somewhere within that decision, I did something that pushed Cam away.

My thoughts inevitably drift back to where they were before class, and I glance over at the boy next to me, ready to take advantage of his kindness.

"Can I ask you something?"

He pauses, lifting his gaze back to mine. "Sure."

"Why did everyone go all quiet when I said Cam was with your coach?"

"We didn't go quiet," he quickly defends. I just lower my gaze, waiting for him to acknowledge that I see right through him. He lets out a breath, slowly nodding. "Coach and his wife...she works night shifts, and he's always busy between teaching classes during the day and coaching us into the evening. They don't get to spend a lot of time together. So, they've kind of made it a thing to always meet for lunch on Mondays."

"Which means..."

"Coach wasn't here at lunch," he pieces it together for me. "I'm sorry, Mack. I don't know where Camden was or what he was doing, but he wasn't with Coach."

The hit that slams against my chest catches me off guard, but it hits deep, crushing me to the ground. It shouldn't bother me, I shouldn't feel the familiar crumble of pieces shattering to the ground. But Camden lied. Why?

"Hey," he says, his hand resting gently along mine. "I'm sure it was nothing. And maybe Coach was here. Maybe his wife had to change her schedule or something."

"Does that happen sometimes?"

"Well, no." He shuffles, his hand still against mine. "But it could."

He's trying. Trying to cover for his friend, or maybe trying to add a touch of comfort to my spiraling thoughts. "Thank you for being honest, Donovan."

"Of course. You deserve that, Mack." His eyes hold mine, their vibrant hue so much different than the hazel swirl I've grown used to. "You deserve a whole lot. I hope you know that. I hope Camden does, too."