" I never said that!" I yell/whisper. My heart drops to the realization that we aren't together. it hits me like a wrecking ball going through a building that hasn't been used in years. It hit me every time we have sex. I realize I can have sex with him now but he can leave my room and have sex with another girl. it hurts that I know I really can't complain about it, because he is not my boyfriend.
" I know I'm just saying; if I want to smoke weed without you I can" he says putting his coat on. "And you can't get mad at me for it" he shrugs.
"You are such an asshole" I mumble. I roll my eyes at him.
"That'll make me stay" Parker laughs out as he goes into the hall. Some of the dorm doors are close but the ones that are closed are either out and about doing college stuff or they're having sex with their boyfriends/ random guys from a party.
"What? You think I'm going to beg your ass to stay?" I snort "I'm sick of begging Parker"
"Sure you are"
" A cocky asshole is what you are"
"Yep." He starts walking down the hall and I follow him to continue to insult him.
" You're so careless! Especially to others feelings!" I shoot, " Since we were seventeen you've always been like ' I don't fucking care' or 'whatever' and I love you for that dude but I'm sick of it"
" There you go again, treating me like I'm your boyfriend" he laughs out. I sit there in my dorms door, not knowing what to say. " I'll be back later, maybe I'll bring you a joint or two, maybe till then you should shut up and calm down" And then he walks away from me. I don't chase after him. I never do. It's like he knows what to do to hurt me. Though, I don't think he does it on purpose, or to make me cry, but it does. usually when I cry it's cold and makes me shiver uncontrollably, but today I'm heated. I have a war with myself on if I should call Parker and apologize or do nothing. I do nothing. Maybe Parker is right I should probably calm myself down. I hate to say it but Parker and I haven't had sex in a week, and I'm thinking it's on his side because he's never in the mood lately. I mean, I can't just call him and be like I'm horny let's have sex. He's usually the one to do that, and it's not like a hit and run he actually stays. once he told me he loves me afterwards, but them the next day, he pretended it never happened. every time I think about it it makes me combust in tears . I totally respect that he doesn't want to talk about it, but we've been friends since we were seventeen! I deserve to know.
