Fly High

Chapter-3

After he had left, she took the fruits and food to her bed from the table. She landed on the bed with a thud and started chewing the apple. Her mind was a whirlwind of the storm inside her. Various thoughts plagued Melisa's mind like why was Sebastian helping her a complete stranger? Who was that drunkard and what had actually happened after she had passed out? Were there other motives behind his act? Still, she can't seem to feel that way about him. Somehow, she knew he was not that kind of a person. His aura made her feel at ease. She saw a laser-light and the thought struck her like lightning. There were papers and glue lying in her room, she dragged her scarred body towards the desk where they lay. It was a whitish blue desk with rows of books behind it.

"Ahh, I have always wanted a library in my house." She muttered and then pinched her cheeks to see if she was not dreaming. She started pasting the papers together making a makeshift cardboard and then made a rectangular cut inside the pasted papers, making a frame of nearly five-centimeter width. After that she took a strand of her hair and pasted in the middle of the framed, vertically. This made two slits needed for her work.

"Almost done, I have to check first if he has any book on YDSE experiment." She stood on her toes and started searching for the book she desired off. She encountered Shakespeare's works, travel blogs, business books, self-help books and what not. Finally, she took off three books, one was the NCERT of class 12th Physics, she opened it and saw it was pretty used and its spine was creased. Other was "Optics" by Eugene Hecht. The last one was the book for high school students, it was pretty colourful and simple to understand. She eagerly flicked through the pages trying to understand it.

The YDSE demonstrated the wave nature of light. When a coherent light source, like a laser, shone through two closely spaced slits, it created an interference pattern on a screen behind the slits. Bright and dark bands, known as fringes, appeared. These fringes occurred because the light waves from the slits interfered with each other—constructively where they were in phase, resulting in bright fringes, and destructively where they were out of phase, resulting in dark fringes. This phenomenon provided strong evidence of the wave-like properties of light. She was in awe of the wall behind it, tinged with beautiful fringes.

The next night as usual, she was unable to sleep. Tossing and turning, she got frustrated and slipped into the bathroom to take ab bath. Instead of turning on the faucet, she slumped down the bathroom's wall leaning against it. Her legs were shaking, head was about to burst yet she felt empty, numb and scared. Her nightmares and thoughts, stuck to her like glue. As she gazed on the empty floor endlessly, she wondered was she gonna make it? Her friend death waited on her doorstep, asking, "Are you ready or are you still unsure. I'll wait and let you think once more."

Trigger Warning: Self-Harm, Emotional Distress

Fatty; No dressing sense, weirdo; you are weak; It's just an exam; Cutting freak; Stop crying just be okay; For Christ's sake stop this drama

Many other voices echoed, reflecting the tiles only the sound increasing not fading. She clutched her head and started slamming it against the wall, tugging at her hairs. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a mirror. It was small and rectangular, sluggishly she picked it up and looked at herself, not sure who she saw? A bruised lip, eyes that gave up their search and hair like a bird's nest stared right back at her. She disliked everyone who pitied her, she disliked herself. She wished punishment and pain not this human life. She loathed herself for being so freaking sensitive. The glass made a screeching sound against her skin, but she desired more. She started sharpening those corners of the glass by rubbing it against the wall but as fate wanted it slipped out of her hand and the sharp, tinkling sound of it breaking reverberated through her spine. She felt relief as she made a deep gash which stretched diagonally along her left hand, a star among many in the night sky. White skin was visible and dark red blood ran in all the directions of her hand, a sickly happy feeling, sleeting joy overwhelmed her. It stained her green clothes, and she stared at it till the blood made a spongy layer above stopping most of the blood from flowing.

She got up covered her hand and she looked for a cloth to cover it so that no one could see. No one needed to see her like that, no one cared. Hah, how wrong was she? As it was night, she searched her room for a first aid kit but wasn't able to find one. The blood had dried before leaving splotches on the floor of her room.

Cutting a white cloth with the scissors on her desk she slowly walked and rinsed the scrapped of the blood off her hands and saw a first aid-kit beneath the books which hung there. She tore apart the alcohol swab's cover and pressed it on the burning wound. She like the pain it gave her, a silent hope was still there in her soul even when she did not see it. Hot tears ran down her face and she peered at the piece of art she created which sure was to last forever. Later she spent the dark night cleaning the mess she had made. Her own shadows devoured her soul.

What do you expect from an 18-year-old kid, who knows nothing about life? When were you told from childhood you were not enough and you'll never be successful?

A child to whom education meant more than a degree but how did this happen? Honestly, she did not know. Deep down she knew she was wrong but why didn't she stop? Why is depression treated as a taboo?