𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐅 || ʳᵃᶠᵉ ᶜᵃᵐᵉʳᵒⁿ

02 ☀︎︎ |NO TURNING BACK|

                    𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆.

I pull up in my truck to the 'boneyard.' It's really just a beach with a ton of old fallen trees on it, but it just so happens to be the most popular party place in the Outer Banks.

The beach is buzzing with the laughter, chatter, and shouting of people I didn't even know existed. 
I spot the only person I know and can't think of anyone better to talk to.

Sarah.

I haven't spoken to her since I got here, but she used to be my best friend—she'll remember me, right?

"Sarah!" I'm shouting before I even realize I'm doing it, and her head snaps to me. She smiles. 
Thank god.

Her lips are moving—something like "oh my god." 
She's too far away.

"Thea?!" I hear her say finally as she runs up to me. "Is it really you?" Topper is left standing alone where she left him, looking dumbfounded. 
He's probably just surprised his ex-girlfriend, who basically fell off the face of the earth, is standing right in front of him.

"Is that Top? He's so tall now," I mutter. 
Sarah looks awkward now. Does she not like him or something? We were all so close back then—

"Oh, yeah, me and Topper—we're kinda... I hope you don't mind. I know you guys had your thing."

I almost laugh. Topper was a horrible boyfriend. "No, no, of course not," I smile.

"Okay..." she sighs. "So, how long are you back for? A week? Two weeks?"

I cut her off. "Sarah—no. I'm staying here." I pause, hoping she's not upset that I'm staying—like I left and just showed back up with no warning. Which is exactly what I did—gosh, I hope she's not angry. 
"Permanently."

"Wait—really? Damn, Thea! You could have just said that. Here, come—I'll reintroduce you to everyone."

Before I can protest, I'm already being dragged by my wrist and over to a group of Kooks, my old friends. Except I'm not a Kook anymore. I wonder how they'll feel about me.

"Guys! Look who's back, you all remember Thea—right?" I look to Sarah. Is she crazy? They probably won't remember me. I'm just embarrassing myself.

"Hey, that was that missing chick," Kelce says, slapping Rafe on the shoulder.

Rafe.

Sarah's older brother, a dick. Never stopped me from having a crush on him though. His hair is all fallen into his face. He looks kind of drunk? It's almost strange to see him like this. Older, surprisingly muscular, extremely tall, and if I'm correct, slightly intoxicated.

Why is he just staring at me? 
Maybe he's trying to figure out where he knows my face from. I mean, to be fair, the last time I'd spoken to him was in the eighth grade.

And then came the whispers, the mutters. The one thing I never missed about this place.

"Isn't she Barry's sister? That guy's a total burnout."

"You're a Pogue now? What the hell, Thea?"

"You seriously talk to that trailer trash?"

It doesn't hurt my feelings. I've used these words before, I've called people them. It feels different though, when you're on the other end of it.

Yeah, it doesn't hurt my feelings.
It only makes me livid. In fact, I'm practically fuming. I look to my right only to see that Sarah is gone. Topper pulled her away, he's whispering something to her now. I can barely hear over the chaos in my mind, but I can make out the main picture.

People are staring at me like I'm crazy. Rafe's taking another sip of his drink. "Once a Kook, always a Kook. Right guys? Hey, give her a break." 
I'm almost snapped out of it by how out of the ordinary that was for him.

"I can't believe you're a Pogue now, Thea. You know, I always knew you would be one eventually. Your parents were never all that responsible."

That's it.

"You know what? If you can turn on me that fast—I don't want to talk to you anyway.
I'm actually—glad—I'm not a Kook anymore. Not after I've seen how shallow you all seemed to turn out. Not to mention your all illiterate--borderline nepo babies who cant go a day without your parents credit cards."

I'm storming off now, and Sarah is scolding everyone behind me. And I'm glad—glad that I'm not rejoining the Kooks. For the next few months, I'll be surfing and fishing and having fun, not busy worrying about fitting in with a whole bunch of rich kids from Figure Eight.

I hear JJ calling me over. And I don't know exactly why, but he seems like a good option to talk to right now—a Pogue. He knows me, and he seems like a nice guy.

I turn around. I'm still pissed off, but I try to neutralize my face as best as I can. He's sitting on a log. It's white, clean, and smooth—the perfect chair. I see why they like to hang out here.

"You made it," he says with a smile. I look over to the girl next to him, Kiara.

Oh my god. Kie. 
My other, other best friend. You could say we were all sort of—a trio.

"Kiara?!" I gasp. She looks over to me.

"Hey, I heard you were back in town," she smiles, it's forced. I can tell.

I wonder why she isn't over by Sarah, why they aren't hanging out together. I didn't think it was possible for them to be separated.

"I missed you, Kie," I say, sitting next to her. "So, who do you hang around these days?"

She looks down. "Pogues," she mutters. Does she think I'll say something about that?

"Hey, well—Thea's a Pogue, so all is well," JJ says, and Kiara looks up finally. She's gotten pretty. "You're a Pogue? Well, that's new." she says, and chuckles--or maybe it was more of a scoff. I almost laugh. "I could say the same for you."

I'm cut off though, maybe just by the shock. I'll never get used to it—his face, I mean.

Rafe makes his way toward me, and JJ and Kie look visibly repulsed. I don't see how they could though, he's very good looking -- that is if he wasn't like, all evil and stuff.

What is he doing? Why am I nervous? 
Pull yourself together.

Rafe steps up in front of me, his eyes scanning the group with disgust. Has the island really separated this much since I left? His eyes settle on me with that same old look of superiority that he thinks he deserves.

"So this is where you ended up, huh? A Pogue. Guess you can run from the Kooks, but you can't really escape what you are."

He gives a half-smirk, like he's proud of himself for the jab. What does he want me to do? Admit I'm a Kook? Go hang out with him on their family yacht? No.

I turn my back on Rafe, brushing off the slight sting of his words. The way he looks at me—like I'm something beneath him—just reminds me of why I left all of this behind.

I glance at JJ and Kie, both looking at me with softer eyes than I expected. JJ gives me a small, reassuring smile.

"Don't let him get to you," JJ says, his voice low but steady.

I nod, but I'm not sure he realizes it's not just Rafe I need to forget. It's the whole damn world I walked away from. This place... I wish I could leave. The world that still thinks I owe them something. But I can't leave here. I'm utterly stuck.

"Let's just go catch some waves," I say, trying to keep my voice light. The salt air, the sound of the water crashing against the shore—it's like a second home. The real home I've been missing all this time.

The ocean.

As I stand up, I hit Rafe in the shoulder, causing him to stumble back. He puts his hands up in mock surrender, the smirk returns to his face. He's definitely proud of himself.

"For the record—Rafe. I'm not, and never will be, a Kook."

I'm not that girl anymore, not the one trying to fit into a world that never really wanted her.

And I'm not going back.