HEARTBLOOD - Paul Lahote

SIX

I stayed with Emily. I didn't want her to be alone when Jared and Paul went off to find Sam. It had been all night I was awake. Waiting for Jared and Paul to come back. They never did.

Emily fell asleep hours ago, but I couldn't. I was stressed. Werewolves are real. And one imprinted on me. Imprinting was so hard to understand but I could feel it.

I felt my connection to him. How I could feel his emotions... his soul. How am I supposed to accept that I am now tied to a person forever? I sulk in my silence and make sure Emily is ok as time passes. Hour after hour. It was finally the morning. 7 am.

As I try to sit up in the chair, I hear the front door open. I see Paul and Jared walk in. I nod.

"Can you talk now? I don't think waiting is gonna fix anything for me," I sign. I was so exhausted and just wanted answers. He nods. The bags under his eyes are prominent.

"Let's go outside," Paul says as he sees Jared go to Emily. I nod. We walk outside, the small breeze adding a chill. We sit on the porch. I break the silence and use my voice.

"Why didn't any of you tell me?" I say, using my voice. It felt odd, kinda wrong in that sense, too. But I felt better when I was Paul, like all my problems were fixed but then I had the problems that came with him.

Paul ran a hand through his hair, his expression a mixture of guilt and frustration. He sighed, looking down at the sand, then back up at me. "It wasn't our choice, Nicolette. It's... there are rules. The Elders, the pack—they decide who can know and who can't. And we wanted to tell you, we did, but..." He trailed off, his eyes searching my face, as if hoping I'd somehow understand.

"But you didn't," I sighed. "You left me in the dark, while all of you—my friends—knew the truth. You trusted each other with this huge, terrifying secret, but no one thought I could handle it?"

Paul's shoulders slumped, and he reached out, his hand resting gently on my arm. "Nicolette, it wasn't like that. It's... it's dangerous to know about us. Knowing about the pack means being pulled into things you can't control, things that could hurt you. We didn't want that for you. I didn't want that for you."

I could feel the frustration building in my chest, a tight knot of anger and sadness that I couldn't fully express. "So, you thought lying to me was better? You thought that leaving me out of your lives would protect me?"

Paul sighed, his face pained. "It wasn't about lying. It was about keeping you safe. When you're part of the pack's world, things get complicated—there are expectations, responsibilities. And you... Nicolette, we didn't want to put that weight on you."

I pulled my arm away, taking a step back. "But I was already part of it, Paul. You and the others are my family. Do you know what it felt like, being the only one who didn't know? Every time I saw you all whispering, hiding things... I felt like I wasn't important enough to be trusted."

Paul's face softened, his eyes full of regret. "I'm sorry, Nicolette. I didn't want you to feel like that. You are important to me—to all of us. But the truth... it changes things. You can't just go back to normal after you know."

I looked out over the water, my fingers twitching as I struggled to find the right words to express what I was feeling. "I don't want to go back, I want to be part of your world, Paul. I want to understand. But it's hard to trust you when you kept such a huge part of your life from me."

He stepped closer, his face serious. "Nicolette, you have to believe me. It wasn't about trust. If I could have told you, I would have. But the pack... it's complicated. The legends, the rules—they don't make it easy to bring someone in. But now that you know... I'll do whatever it takes to help you understand."