Chapter One: Step One

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Step One:

Spend one weekend grieving your relationship.

If single, mourn a past relationship as a precaution.

Do not watch any plays, shows, or movies produced by Gary Hardwick, Tyler Perry, Kenya Barris, or Lee Daniels.


Catfish Friday made everything better.

Ms. Paula's food was just that good. She'd quickly become one of Jazmine's favorite people at Woodcrest High, and it was clear to everyone that the feeling was mutual.

"There's my beautiful Jazmine Flower!" The woman exclaimed, already preparing her tray. "I threw in an extra piece, just for you!"

"Thanks, Ms. Paula." She grinned. "You're a lifesaver."

"Honey, you deserve it." Ms. Paula lowered her voice. "I know I'm not supposed to say this, but I can't stand that ex-boyfriend of yours! Galivanting around here with all those little hussies!"

"Ms. Paula, noooo!" Jazmine laughed, admiring the fresh batch of fries on the heater. "They're not the hussies. He is."

"That bad, huh?" Ms. Paula placed another piece of fish on her tray. "Here, baby. It'll help with the heartbreak until he comes back around."

"Well, even if he does, I'm not interested." Jazmine grabbed the tray and moved to the next station, her eyes on the fries. "I'm done with him this time."

Ms. Paula lit up with pride. "Good for you, Jazmine. You're too young to be running behind some big-headed fool." She glanced back at the other cafeteria lady, who nodded in agreement. "If I were sixteen again, I'd be living, okay? Out there getting my mack on!"

Jazmine laughed while she placed a small basket of fries on her tray. "Ms. Paula, what do you know about macking?"

"Honey, don't let these old bones fool you." She winked. "Ms. Paula enjoyed herself back in the day."

Before she could respond, a hand reached around her shoulder and plucked some fish from her tray.

"Huey!" She slapped him in the chest. "You know better. What am I always telling you about jacking my fish?"

"The same thing I'm always telling you about saying that word." Huey nodded at Ms. Paula. "Good afternoon."

"Boy, where have you been?" She tilted her head towards a table full of girls, staring at Huey as they watched from their seats. "Staying out of trouble, I hope."

Huey smirked and waved at them, lifting his hands in mock innocence. "I only stay in good trouble, Ms. Paula. I came here for the veggie burgers, nothing else."

"That explains why you skipped class earlier." Jazmine remarked as she grabbed some ketchup packets and tartar sauce. "Where were you? Our entire group project fell apart!"

"It's not a group project if I'm doing all the work. Plus, I already passed US History. Twice." Huey patted her head. "I let Mrs. Francis know our group project wasn't collaborative. She was gracious enough to give you another chance to make it up to her. Jeremy and Robert on the other hand..."

"So, you're the reason I have to write that ten-page essay?!" She waved at a visibly amused Ms. Paula before following Huey to their usual spot, loudly stomping her feet. " I can't stand you! How could you do something like that?"

Huey picked up his phone, recreating the conversation. "I'm surprised too, Mrs. Francis. I take governmental policy seriously, and my group refused to do their part. I can't let them take all the credit for my ideas. It's unjust."

"Unjust? It's a fake government, Huey!" Jazmine rolled her eyes. "We all wanted to do something simple, anyway! You're the one who terrorized those boys into doing something complicated in the first place!"

"Jeremy and Quentin were cool with voting against you and Casey." Huey shrugged. "The best proposal won."

"Then how come Jeremy looks nervous whenever the lights flicker?" Jazmine popped a piece of fish in her mouth, savoring the taste. "Because-"

"Your mouth is full." He cut her off, handing her a napkin. "And I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do!" Jazmine snatched his earbuds away before he could drown her out with music. "It sounds a lot like those electric gloves you have. You threatened Jeremy and Robert with one, didn't you?"

"Again, I don't know what you're talking about." Huey shrugged. "Doesn't sound like something I'd do to be honest."

"Uh-huh."

"Huey, what's up with it, dude?" Caesar dapped his friend up. "Where were you last period? We missed you. Jazmine and nem' were awful without you."

"They weren't that bad, Ceez." Cindy slid into the chair next to his. "I thought it was cute."

"Thank you!" Jazmine threw up her hands. "I think we did okay, considering someone abandoned ship."

"How bad was it?" Huey glanced over at Caesar.

Caesar pulled out a chair and gave Huey a grim expression. "They said they would simply elect not to have a government."

Huey groaned and turned back to Jazmine. "Please tell me he's exaggerating."

"I just think my constituents can choose for themselves!" Jazmine shrugged nonchalantly. "What's the big deal?"

"My people perish from lack of knowledge." Huey glared at her. "You'd fit right in with the current administration, and I don't mean that as a compliment. You're lazy."

"I'm adaptable." Jazmine took a sip of water. "Caesar, c'mon, help me out!"

"Gotta agree with Huey on this one, sis." Caesar snatched a fry from Cindy's tray and kissed her on the cheek. "That was bad. Did you guys even try?"

"I was busy." Jazmine shrugged.

"So busy you couldn't work on something worth half your grade?" Huey raised a brow. "And before you start, keep in mind that I have my A. You don't."

"You're graduating early. Big whoop." Jazmine shrugged with an indifference she didn't feel, popping another piece of fish in her mouth. "I found out Vince was hooking up with Winnie last night. I guess the news sort of threw me for a loop."

Huey put down his veggie burger and stared at her. His poorly veiled sympathy made her feel even worst. "I'm sorry. I guess this means the bet is off."

"It's not." She groaned, putting her face in her hands. "I didn't go running back to him, I swear! I'm just upset that he's sleeping with someone that I was friends with. "

"I'll whoop that skanky hoe's ass!" Cindy flew out of her chair and rushed to Jazmine's side. "After listening to everything you've been through with him, she goes and does this?! Did you at least cuss her out?"

"Honestly, I was too surprised to say much of anything." Jazmine wanted to sink into the floor. "I'm an idiot. I can't believe I didn't see it coming."

"You're not an idiot." Caesar said gruffly, scanning the cafeteria. "Where's Vince right now?"

"Not here." Huey remarked coolly, still studying Jazmine's face for signs of a breakdown. "Which leads me to my next question...how'd you find out?"

They all turned to Jazmine, who'd become remarkably quiet.

"You didn't." Cindy shook her head. "Girl, tell me you didn't do that."

"Jazmine!" Caesar gasped, smirking at her. "After all that shit you were talking?"

"He said he wanted closure." She said quietly, suddenly realizing how pathetic that sounded. "He left a sweet note in my history book, asking me to swing by so we could talk."

"And you flew over there thinking it was a white flag." Huey shook his head. "Whole time, he was purposely rubbing Winnie in your face."

"He didn't do it on purpose, Huey." She sighed, frowning at her tray. "I should've stayed where I was."

"You should have." Huey took another bite of his veggie burger. "But he knew what he was doing. Probably saw us out the other day and got jealous, as usual."

"He doesn't care." Jazmine's heart raced despite her tone, excited by Huey's observation. "He didn't even notice me."

"Wait, you two hung out the other day?" Cindy raised a brow at her friend. "You didn't mention that to me."

Huey put a hand up. "Because we don't have to mention anything to you. We were friends before you came along."

Cindy snorted. "Boy, bye!"

"You're leaving?" Huey handed her his used napkin, a playful smirk on his lips. "Good. Take this with you on your way out."

"Caesar, get your friend!" Cindy used her empty salad bowl to flick it off the table. "He's starting with me, again!"

"Leave my baby alone, Huey." Caesar wrapped his arms around Cindy. "She's just surprised. You two don't hang out much these days."

"Fine." Huey shrugged. "Jazmine and I went to see Star Wars." He didn't miss the way Caesar and Cindy's eyes widened. "And before you two start whining, it wasn't planned. We skipped class at the same time, and I dragged her along with me before she ruined my chances of winning the bet."

"I knew you had ulterior motives." Jazmine batted her eyes dramatically as she bit into another fry. "It's just wrong how you treat me. If only there was a way for you make it up to me. I wonder what you could do."

"Cute try. I'm still not letting you take credit for my project." Huey cut his eyes at her. "Vince has been a shitty boyfriend for years. You should've known not to risk half your grade for him. Be grateful I kept Mrs. Francis from flunking your sorry ass."

"You were gone for weeks when Arielle dumped you her first semester of college." Jazmine cut her eyes back at him. "I still did your part of the physics project, and I went the extra mile so our teacher wouldn't flunk your sorry ass!"

"Fair." Huey deflated. "I'll talk to her after lunch, and if that doesn't work, I guess I can help write most of your essay."

Jazmine nodded, silently declaring her victory with a lift of her chin. "Thank you."

"Now let's get back to Jazmine seeing Star Wars with you." Cindy leaned forward, still fascinated with their trip to the theater. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you hate everything Star Wars related? Every time Huey and Caesar invited us before, you always made up some lame excuse."

"I did not!" Jazmine's jaw dropped. "I just have a busy schedule!"

"Yeah, when it's convenient." Caesar laughed, nodding at Cindy. "What was the last excuse, Huey?"

"Her great grandma died. Again." Huey chuckled at Jazmine's face flushing. "Actually, that poor woman has died three times now. Must be an awful experience for her, raising from the dead so that Jazmine can get out of things."

"It was the anniversary of her death!" Jazmine rolled her eyes. "You guys don't pay attention! I was grieving!"

"All three times? I remember one time you said..." Huey trailed off and pushed his chair back. "Okay, now I've had enough of this shit. Vince!"

Vince whirled around, nodding towards Caesar and Cindy with Winnie clinging to his arm. "Huey, whassup? Haven't seen you in a minute, my guy."

"Quit playing. You know you saw me with Jazmine, yesterday." Huey took a step forward, with Caesar and Cindy not too far behind. "I'm not a fan of the make-her-jealous routine you got going. You want a reminder of what happened the last time you pulled it?"

"She started it when she went to the movies with you. I ain't scared of a little rematch." Vince smirked, closing the distance between them. "Cuz we're getting back together, whether you like it or not. I'm just figuring some things out right now."

"Well, stay away from her while you're doing that." Huey growled, eyeing the boy with a frown. "She's done this time."

"That's weird." Vince lifted his fist, pausing when Huey lifted his own. "She ain't told me that."

" Huey don't." Jazmine frowned at him as she stepped in between them. "He's not worth it. Not anymore."

They both dropped their fists when they noticed she was seconds away from crying. They softened, turning towards her as she raced away, her vision blurring from the tears filling her eyes.

"Jazmine, come on." Vince snatched away from Winnie and brushed an arm around Jazmine's waist. "You know you're the only girl for me, right? I was just trying to make you jealous. You know the routine by now."

"I said don't." Jazmine turned away from him. "I'm not doing this to myself again. I'm not falling for your lies ever again."

"Jaz, please." Vince pulled her closer, staring into her eyes. "I know I messed up, aight? Seeing you with Freeman just did something to me. So I got a little jealous? You know how it is."

"I don't know how it is. " She jerked back before she could change her mind. "I just know that I'm tired of going back and forth with you."

"You don't mean that." Vince stepped away when Huey and Caesar stood next to Jazmine protectively, their fists at their sides. "We always find our way back. We love each other."

"You dumped me, Vince!" Jazmine covered her face before sprinting into the hallway, just in time for the tears to spill over. "There is no we. It's over!"

As soon as Jazmine was out of sight, Cindy charged towards Winnie, her hand outstretched. "Come here, bitch! I ain't forgot!"

"You're clinically insane!" The girl screamed, falling to the ground as Cindy delivered a series of loud, open-palmed smacks across her face. "Get off me!"

"Get off Jazmine's sloppy seconds, hoe!" Cindy slapped her again, glaring at the girl's back when she ran away. "Punk ass bitch."

"That....was wild." Caesar shook his head. "Huey has the whole Jazmine thing covered. Do you mind if we stay here and finish eating? I think she left behind that fish Ms. Paula gave her. And you know she always gets the good pieces."

They both stopped and stared at the tray Jazmine left behind. Sure enough the pile of untouched fillets was still there.

"Yes." Cindy grinned, pulling him back to the table so they could dig in. "We absolutely can."
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