The Pretend To Be Agreement

Chapter Thirty

Grace

The next morning when I woke up I knew something was different. It wasn't like most mornings where I'd wake up alone, one side of the bed cold while mine warm. There was usually only one person it – that person being me –, but now it wasn't. The reason why it was different is because I woke up in the arms of the man I loved.

My small frame next to his, his arms wrapped around my waist while his face was buried into the side of my neck. His hair fell onto my shoulder, ticking me, and it reminded me of how much he needed a haircut. Light snores were heard, filling the room, and it made me smile. This was the first I had ever heard him snore – but my only guess for this was that he was finally having a good night's sleep.

With my back to the bedroom door and the front of me facing the window, I got a clear view of the snow that what was falling heavily. Frost covered the window in a light layer, spreading wide across and making me think of spider's web by how it was shaped.

Though bright, I couldn't spot the sun and could only see gray, puffy white clouds that filled the sky. Trees outside have no leaves – the deciduous trees – but the Evergreen's caught onto the snow and looked a lot like the mountains in the distance. It was all so different from New York, and for the first time I don't hear the sound of a car alarm going off or traffic.

All you got here was peacefulness – a sweet bliss of tranquility. And that was definitely something I needed after Frederick's death; just some peace and quiet.

When I get out bed it's a bit of a struggle as the grip a sleeping Will had on me tightens and he lets out a sleepy groan as he pulls me into his chest; like I was the teddy bear that sat lopsided on the book shelf. I lay there for a few extra minutes, closing my eyes and then inhaling deeply as I just enjoyed this moment.

I would've been perfectly fine with lying in bed all day with him, but there was so much exploring that I wanted to do and things I wanted to see. Wiggling my way out of Will's grip, being extra careful so I didn't wake him, I roll off the bed and land on my tip toes. It hurt for a second and electric shock is sent up my legs, leaving me to mouth a variety of curse words that would have given my mother the perfect opportunity to put horse radish on my tongue.

Still wearing the same clothes as yesterday I creep over to my suitcase, my feet sliding smoothly over the floor – which made me think I was five again – as I grab onto the handle of my suitcase. Slowly opening it, I rummage through it and find a holey black shirt that I know is not mine because it ten miles to big. Then I see a pair of leggings and I'm silently thanking Jesus Christ for helping me find what was probably the warmest pair of pants I had packed.

I glance around the room, making sure Will wasn't pretending to be asleep and then with slight hesitation do I get undressed. It honestly felt like every single one of his childhood toys were looking at me, and the teddy bear on the book shelf was judging me. Though, not real, the posters that hung on the walls made me uncomfortable – I could've sworn the eyes on one moved.

Why is this so stressful?

When I'm done I just walk around the bedroom for a while. Looking everything over and at times brushing my finger over the lining of things, I find myself becoming slightly jealous because Will – even though it may not seem like it to him – had a happy childhood. In some photos, not matter how fake the smile, he was surrounded by his family.

At the age of ten, or what I'm assuming his age is in the photo I was looking at, he was skating down the sidewalk with a skate board. When I was ten I was taking care of my little sister, dealing with a sick mom, and having to make sure none of us feel apart because my mom couldn't do everything by herself.