Chapter eleven, The funeral

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The only thing Rikku hated more than Paine's death was her funeral. Now that she was dead, everybody was suddenly her best friend. The funeral was way too crowded with people who never cared about her when she was alive. Most of Spira ignored Paine; she'd lived a lonely life before the Crimson Squad and the Gullwings, and they all knew it. Everyone suddenly giving her so much attention after she died, well it was an insult to her memory.

Rikku wasn't paying attention to any of it. All she could do was stare at the memorial that would serve as a headstone, and the box of her belongings that would serve as a coffin, and cry. When Gippal went to go find Paine's body he found blood all over the ground and a huge fiend gnawing on her bones. When he'd told Rikku the news that Paine's body had been eaten, she'd puked and blacked out again. She wasn't sure if Paine would find all this ironic or not, everyone loving her after she died and a fiend finally getting revenge for all the ones she'd killed, but she'd like to think that Paine would appreciate having an ironic death.

The truth was; death didn't sound too bad for Rikku then. As much as Rikku hated to admit it to herself, Paine was the lucky one. She didn't have to worry about life anymore, she could rest in peace. But, Rikku would always have the weight of Paine's death upon her. Maybe Yuna could pretend like she would move on, maybe Baralai thought burying himself in work and loneliness would help, but Rikku knew that none of them would heal. The emotional scars would last  until one-day they were lucky enough to join Paine in the Farplane.

She perked up when she heard Nooj's voice ringing throughout the room. Nooj, Tidus, and Gippal were the only three of Paine's real friends who could compose them enough to give a speech for her; everyone else didn't even know her at all.

Nooj sighed as he tried to compose himself and gather his thoughts before he spoke up. "Paine...was one of the dearest people I ever had the pleasure meeting. She was always calm and collected, even when everything around her was in chaos. I owe her my life, all of our squad does. She did more for us, and for Spira as a whole, than we will ever be able to comprehend. More than anything I regret not recognizing all of the things she did until it was too late. Paine, you will be forever in our hearts." He said. And then he sat down.

'But it is too late.' Rikku thought bitterly. 'Far too little, far too late.'

Tidus was next, he had only known Paine a few weeks, but at least he saw her for who she really was, unlike the other people in this room.

"I didn't know Paine very long." He said with a frown. "But I would have liked to." He sighed and collected his thoughts, avoiding Yuna's gaze, her crying was always contagious for him.

"She was always so lively, and you could tell that she loved her job, and loved the people she was working with." He paused to compose himself. "And it goes without saying, that we will all miss her a lot." He sat down, and Gippal took his turn. Somehow he managed a smile, though he seemed dead inside.

"When I first met Paine, I really thought that she was going to be bitter and hateful." He started, and made Rikku cry harder; She'd assumed the same thing her first time meeting Paine. Boy had she been wrong.

"But as I got to know her" he said his smile becoming at least a little more sincere. "I discovered that even though she wasn't always the most optimistic person, she saw the world in a truly unique way. Back in the days when Sin was still around, and everything was looking bleak and most of us were in despair, that never seemed to affect her the same way. She was able to except life for what it was and move on." His eye filled with tears now, but he rubbed at it and composed himself before continuing.

"Back in our Crimson Squad days, Paine was the one who showed us that even when life is chaotic, and even when you're in the darkest of times, you need to look around and enjoy life for what it's worth." He actually smiled for real this time. "And, so I want to take a minute and return the favor. I don't know about anyone else, but I can feel Paine here, and I think she's watching over us. And I know she doesn't want us to focus on what's sad. One thing I know for sure is that Paine lived a good life. So, as we say goodbye to her, let's do it with a smile. Dr. P, thank you! You will be missed." And then he sat down.

The rest of the funeral was a blur, but Rikku couldn't help but wonder if Gippal really meant what he had said. Just because Paine died with a smile, did it mean that they had to let her go with one too? Or maybe, letting her go really was for the best. 'It's what she wanted, after all!' Rikku thought to herself bitterly. And in that moment she promised never to be sad about Paine again. Though she knew for once, that she had made a promise she could never keep, not even for a minute. But at least for now she could pretend, false hope is better than nothing right?


A/N   Sorry for the late update guys! I started writing this chapter when I woke up this morning, but I didn't get to finish it until now.  This chapter was so hard for me to write, Paine is one of my favorite FF characters, and trust me when I say this hurts me more than it hurts you. lol ^_~ Anyway, this story is going to stop being so depressing by chapter 13. The next chapter is going to be a bit depressing, since there are a few things that still need to happen. But by chapter 13 we are going to get into the main plot-line, and it's going to be pretty interesting from there. ^_~ Anyway, please comment, and tell me what you think. I might be a little late updating on Monday since I'm in this writing contest, that I've been spending a lot of time on, but I'll try my best to update on time. Well, stay tuned for more Final Fantasy goodness. Love y'all -Reibun

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