Swallow your pride 2

Party

Isadora was lying in her bed in the girls' dormitories with a book in her hand. But she couldn't concentrate on the story at all. The words on the page swam before her eyes, her mind elsewhere entirely. The other girls were chatting loudly, their voices a constant drone in the background. But all Isidora could think about was Aurelius, the feel of his lips on hers, the way he'd held her close... before Sebastian had interrupted them. The memory made her heart ache in her chest. She'd tried to push the thought of him away, tried to focus on other things, but her mind kept drifting back to him, to the memories of their stolen moments together.

She closed her book with a snap, her frustration growing. She needed to distract herself, to find a way to forget about him, even if it was just for a little while.
The girls' chatter continued, now focused on the party that night. They were discussing what to wear, how to do their hair and makeup. Isidora tried to tune out the girls' excited chatter about it. She had no intention of going, had no interest in dressing up and pretending to be carefree. But as the talk turned to who might be there she couldn't help but listen, her mind wandering.

She thought about Aurelius. Would he be at the party? Would he look at girls in their pretty dresses? Would he... would he dance with someone else? The thought made her heart ache, an ugly, possessive feeling rearing up in her chest. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the thoughts and pictures that were flooding her mind. She knew she shouldn't want him, knew that what they were doing was dangerous, wrong, forbidden. But her heart didn't listen to reason. It ached for him, for his touch, for his presence. And no matter how much she tried to forget, to ignore, the pain in her chest only seemed to grow stronger.

She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. She couldn't let herself give in to her feelings, couldn't let herself be consumed by them. She had to be strong, had to resist the temptation. But as the girls continued to chatter, their voices growing louder as they got more excited about the party, her resolve began to weaken. She could feel the familiar flutter in her stomach, her heart skipping a beat as she thought of Aurelius...
She tossed and turned in her bed, the soft whispers of her classmates like a maddening whisper in her ear, her thoughts swirling like a turbulent storm.

And despite her best efforts, she couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like to see Aurelius at the party. To watch him chat with other girls, laugh with them, maybe even dance with them.... She told herself it was just curiosity, just a passing fancy. That if she just saw him at the party, saw him with others, she would be able to forget him. But as her mind filled with images of him with other girls, his hands on their waists, his lips on theirs, her heart clenched painfully in her chest.

She tried to ignore it, to push the thoughts away, but they just kept coming, each one more vivid than the last, each one more painful. She rolled onto her side, burying her face in her pillow. The girls' voices were getting louder, their excitement palpable. She could imagine the room filling with girls in pretty dresses, their hair done up, their faces bright with anticipation.

And he would be there, among them, looking handsome and charming and... unattainable.

She was torn, her heart warring with her mind, desire battling with reason. She knew she shouldn't go, knew it was a bad idea. But the thought of seeing him, of being in the same room with him, was too strong to resist.
She closed her eyes again, her breaths coming in short, shallow gasps. She knew she was making a mistake, but she couldn't help herself. She needed to see him.

She sat up sharply, her mind made up. She would go to the party. She would see Aurelius. And then she would be able to put her feelings to rest, to move on, to forget.
Determined, she got out of bed and began to get ready. She chose a simple but elegant dress, one that was both modest and classy. She spent extra time on her hair and makeup, wanting to look her best.