A Part Of My Thoughts

Guitar

However, I couldn't complain, they pay me well for it and that ensure a safe life in my apartment, which is further from the city center. I don't know how many times I've been in the center itself, I always get lost and no matter how many people try to explain to me where I am and where I need to go, it didn't work, so I stayed away from the center. New York is a city where all the stars of the world come, there you can see big screens from all sides and advertisements are something that makes this center so attractive, and in addition, thousands of tourists come every day, which is a benefit to my hotel.

 Next to the picture right under the table is my cat Lola, who has lived with me since the first day I moved in. I live alone and sometimes it bothers me that I don't have someone to talk about my day to, or someone to enjoy the silence with. It's snowing outside, my hotel is not working right now, because of the earthquake that happened a month ago. I have a lot of colleagues from the hotel, as well as friends from the band, but they are all too busy to spend their working days with me. My life was always simple, I had my own apartment and my freedom, the problem was that I didn't know what to do with it. 

The next day, while I was walking around New York, I heard a song that was accompanied by a guitar. A man who begged for money on the cold streets stood, and proudly sang, it was the first song I learned to play. My heart skipped a beat when I heard it, just like it used to do. I was supposed to see Layla, my first neighbor and a best friend, she also works with me. She is my age and I liked her from the first day when she welcomed me to my new apartment. I stood on the sidewalk near the coffee shop where we were supposed to go, and in a few minutes she was there. I eagerly hugged her. I haven't seen her for a long time because her boyfriend is traveling the world as a tourist guide and he is taking her with him.

 "You look beautiful Layla", I had to admit, I missed her a lot. She gave me a long hug back.

 "I managed to sleep longer last night".

 "So, what's the situation with the hotel?" 

She asked me when we ordered two hot chocolates.

"Renovations are currently on hold due to the cold and winter"

"Looks like we all can't wait for spring"

 "I agree with that" 

"Have you been to your parents?"

 "I'm not planning yet" I said and looked down, she was the only person who knew about everything. 

Before, Layla spent a lot of time with me in the apartment, we would watch movies or talk, then she fell in love with Thomas, who is now her boyfriend. I was with her from the beginning of their relationship. In the meantime, I didn't have a person to talk about, I was never in love and one relationship I was in, ended catastrophically. Since then, I promised myself that I wouldn't be with anyone from school, but school ended 3 years ago, and I was still without the person I would love the most in the world. But on the other hand, I didn't have any love problems, fights and arguments.

 "I think you should, at least your mother," she said after a while, but I didn't want to talk about it. 

"Maybe it will happen, sometime soon", our hot chocolates arrived and we enjoyed them, it was as cold as ever outside.

 After two hours of good and exciting talk with Layla, we had to go home. On the way I remembered the song I heard on the street again.

"What do you think, should I start playing the guitar again?", I asked her, she looked at me with happiness in her eyes and a smile on her face.

"I think that's a good idea, if you're good at something, you should never give up," she was my biggest fan.

 When I warmed up from the cold winter, I sat on my bed with my guitar, turned on the camera and played the song I heard today. 

I felt like a teenager again, who is happy, who imagines her future. When I finished the song I sent it to Layla with the message "What do you think about this?" 

I was lying down in my bathtub with wine in my hand and listening to music in the background.

It was already night outside and I couldn't wait to fall asleep tonight, the phone ringing brought me back to reality. 

"What?" I screamed. Layla posted that video online.

 "The world needs to see that Amber" she said. 

I didn't agree with her, but I know she just wanted to cheer me up and let me know that people like me, but did I ask for it? At one point I was so angry that I even thought of getting out of the bath tub and immediately going to her apartment. Was she crazy? In the video, I could see myself sitting on my bed and playing a song that probably a lot of people have never heard. However, I have to admit that the song is played beautifully, maybe there will be some comments that would cheer me up, maybe it's not as terrible as I thought.

 "Maybe I need it, but if there are negative comments I will consider you as the main culprit", she laughed and said shortly before ending the call "Fairly" 

Having friends means being ready for everything you always wanted and what you never wanted, that's the point of having a relationship with someone, which is always unpredictable, feelings are caused in certain moments that we cannot influence. For the next half hour I sit in my bathtub and remember the things I liked to do as a child. 

I often went to the mountains with my father, we hiked and we both loved heights, I remember how good I felt knowing that all the people were down there, while I was up there with my father, on that hill where no one saw us, we talked about everything, he would tell me stories about wars, he told me how much he was in love with my mother, how much he just wanted to be in her arms, surrounded by her. That story always made me cry, I wanted to feel that yearning and longing for a person who felt the same way about me, I just had to wait for the right person at the right time.

 Half an hour later, I'm in my bed. I took my laptop and watched the video that Layla posted. It already had about 10,000 views, the comments were positive, but I have to admit, if they weren't, it wouldn't have had an impact on me. The winter program was on the TV, that was right above the shelf where our family picture was. A group of people went to a mountain in one of the countries of Europe. I couldn't help but stare and remember the feeling it evokes. In the corner of the screen I see the inscription "Sign up and become part of our hiking group, there is little time left!!" Without thinking, I take a sheet of paper and write down the number on the screen. I didn't think about signing up, but if I ever had the chance and wanted to get away from it all, wouldn't that be a great choice?