Long Time Coming.

Intrinsic

2018. 

Water baptism. 

Authors Note: I want to preface with the fact that this is a christian fiction/autobiography. I reserve rights to this story and storyline due to the fact that it is a fiction novel  made with "made up characters" but also an autobiography with genuine intent. Please enjoy. Leave a comment. Write a review. And lastly, know that Living In My Potential is going up. 

Same shit different day. 

Everyday feels the same to me. It feels depressing. It feels oppressing. It feels repressing. Suppressing. It feels stagnant. I just want to know it. I want to know why I am the way I am. Why I care so much. Why is deception a thing? 

I have learned a lot about myself since 2018 and it makes me fucking proud to call myself and to know myself as the lord JESUS CHRIST. A strong, black, smart, independent woman. It's a facade. IM a facade. 

2019.

Senior Year.

My man, My man, My man. I genuinely do not know why people like me. I am average. Regular black woman. Regular face. Regular shape. Regular demeanor.  A sociopath. With or without a diagnosis. 

Alex and Anthony will have to tell me what's up. My mom sent me to a psych ward. 

I don't know honestly. I feel like I try to be good. I feel like I try to represent myself, God, and my family but it's never recognized. By anyone. 

Point being, I suck. 

not. 

When you have been alive 23 years, you start to realize some things about yourself. About your life. About other people. About what shit means. I am still learning. 

2020. 

Covid happened. It changed things for me drastically. Fell out with people whom I have known my whole life. Some longer than others. It hurt. Bad. Talk about being lonely. I went to college last year. Met some day ones. Drank my first drank. Thought about smoking a little weed. 

Found God. 

2021. 

Come out jezebel. My man. I was a narcissist: but that's on abuse. 

That honestly was probably one of my favorite years. I started watching tarot, which I know is very contradictory to me finding God in 2020. Nonetheless still vital. It taught me a lot you know.

Started a brand too, which was also in 2020. My favorite year; probably 2023. New Beginnings. 

2022. 

Still jezzy, but with a flare of demon possession. 

A jezebel spirit. Maybe I'll save that for chapter 3.  A good relationship year for me in a way. Made up my mind about a lot of things. I need people, big time. 

2023. 

Rue 21 was the shit. God finally let me into the spiritual realm. Met some peeps via the spirit. Courtney being one of them. Along with my family members, who come to find out, have been christian all along. I value romance. I value leadership. I value family. I value money. I value love. 

2024. 

Diddy. Difficult year for the spirit. For Christ. A big quantum leap. I just needed to know who I was. And now I do: I take my title very seriously. 

I believe abuse and narcissism and sociopathy and codependency and selfishness and rudeness will forever be a thing and I just want to say I am genuinely okay with that.