Devotion (Snape × Student OC)

31

It's a particularly frigid and snowy day, two days after Christmas eve. I stand by the window, gazing out at the snowflakes gently floating to the ground. The snowfall triggers a wave of memories, evoking thoughts of that winter day. The snow holds a paradoxical resemblance to him: cold yet beautiful. My mind is so engrossed in reflections that I fail to hear Gentiana calling out to me for lunch. She emerged from the kitchen, making her way to the living room.

She paused beside me, her tone filled with a mixture of concern and curiosity.
"Sue, you've become quite the deep thinker lately, What could possibly be on your mind that you didn't hear me calling you for lunch?" I didn't respond, my gaze locked on the mesmerizing snowfall outside. Snowflakes I thought, lost in the white canvas of winter.

Gentiana sighed, her voice tinged with empathy. "Why don't you share it with me? Perhaps I can help?" I turned to face her, shaking my head "It's nothing." She then asked "Are you missing your friends?" As she spoke, I felt a pang of sadness within me, yet I brushed it off, feeling frustrated and misunderstood. Why do I feel this way? Why do I want to lash out at everyone and everything?

Her sharp, penetrating gaze met my own, her gentle fingers running through my dark hair "The emotions you're experiencing are entirely normal for your age, my dear." her voice brimming with warmth "Don't hide your pain from me. I want nothing more than to see you happy, to see your smile." Even when I remained silent, she had an uncanny ability to see right through me. A thick lump formed in my throat as I looked at her with a mix of hesitation and uncertainty.

Questions swirled through my mind in rapid succession, fueling my anger and sadness "Why do you always wish for my happiness?" I asked, my voice quivering and my eyes growing watery. "After all, I'm not even your daughter. Why do you always feel pity for me?"
She fell silent for a moment, her expression filled with a mixture of surprise and empathy. She gently took hold of my hands, intertwining our fingers together.

"Sue, it's not pity that I feel for you, It's concern, it's care, it's affection. You have become a part of my life, a very special one, and your happiness has become a part of my own." Why is she always looking at me with such sad eyes? I wondered, my guilt and frustration growing. "I'm sorry.." I mumbled, my voice wavering "Sometimes I think thoughts like this. I don't want to cause you any upset, but there's something in my heart that aches. I feel so sad."

I couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and before I knew it, they were streaming down my face. Gentiana reacted immediately, wrapping me in a tight embrace and gently stroking my hair. "You're going through puberty, my dear," she explained kindly. "Many people feel the way you do at this stage in their lives. Your feelings are valid and important." I buried my head into her embrace, letting my tears flow freely. Her words, her comfort, washed over me like a soothing lullaby.

As my sobbing subsided, I hugged her tighter and whispered shyly "Can we go to Diagon Alley together, or even Hogsmeade?" Gentiana chuckled softly, her hands still stroking my hair.
"Of course, my dear, We can go wherever you wish. We have plenty of time together." I felt a twinge of embarrassment for showing such a vulnerable, tears streaming side of myself at my age.

It was different from when I was younger back then, it didn't bother me to let my emotions show. Is this what growing up feels like? Bottling everything up and suffering in silence? It hit me then, that Gentiana seemed to be the same way. She rarely spoke about her own feelings or experiences. Maybe someday, when I'm older, she'll open up to me. Then, I'll understand her words better. For now, I'll cherish these moments.

Gentiana and i strolled through the bustling streets of Diagon Alley, taking in the sights and sounds of the busy shopping district during the Christmas holidays. The air was filled with the scent of fresh pine and the laughter of festive shoppers "So, Sue, what do you want to do first?" as we passed by a shop window adorned with colorful lights and a display of glittering snowglobes. "Some shopping or hot chocolate?"