Deceiver's Throne

Chapter 4: Isabelle's Pov

Have you ever been in a crowd, but felt more alone than ever before? Well, that's exactly how I would describe my current state, I'm in a car surrounded by my friends who has been there for me literally every day, and well then there's him. But I have never felt more lost and alone than I do right now.

I feel like I'm walking head first into a huge mistake and I'm afraid that my stubbornness is going to either get me and my friends in trouble or worse killed. And honestly I'd rather get in trouble, I mean I don't want to die. And it's not like I can tell my friends since, the moment I tell them they will just agree with me and say that we have to go home and forget about this. And I can't do that, I need to know who I am and where I came from, I need to know what I am. 

My breathing quickens and the heat consumes my body. It feels like I'm suffocating, and little black dots cloud almost all of my vision. I can feel heat and shivers crawl up my neck and back. I immediately know that no one can see me like this, and I reach over Sam and open the car door  and shove him out. As soon as the cold wind slams my cheeks I force my legs to walk as far and fast away from the car as I can. 

Electricity crackles underneath my skin and my head starts pounding. Faster. I have to walk faster. I start to feel how my throat closes, how my chest starts paining. My legs start moving at their own and soon I am running away from the car and into the dark forest while clutching my chest. 

My feet rapidly pound in and out of the ground until the sight of a rotten tree trunk on the floor catches my attention. Yes, I can sit. I stumble over to the trunk and collapse onto it. One breath in, one out. In and out. Tears start slowly forming behind my eyes and slowly my eyes run down towards my hands closing around my legs. Small sobs escape me and the realization sets.

How ungrateful can one be, I have everything. a loving family, a warm bed, loving friends. And the worst is that I am prepared to leave it all behind just to know who I am.  Maybe my tutor was right. I am a selfish bitch. Memories of the strikes he gave me just because he wanted to, fills my mind, and somehow I embrace the painful memories. I welcome the feeling of bile. He was right. I deserved each and every scar that he created on my back. I deserved it. I try to remember the feeling of the pain he caused, I remind myself how I deserved it. I did deserve it.

Suddenly my soft sobs turn to more desperate loud ones. Those that quicken your breath until you are struggling to find more air. My throat slices closed, I am now heaving, panting so hard I am sure any animal near could hear me. I must sound horrid. I am horrid. I'm so so self-centered just like they always say, I have forced my friends to go with me to a world of unknown and haven't even thought twice about how  they might feel. Maybe Aires is right for hating me. I don't deserve my friends, I didn't even deserve him.  Maybe that's why it had hurt so much when he said that I'm selfish and spoiled. Because I knew it was true. I knew every word he had said was the raw truth. What if after I force them to go to the world with me we die? 

What if we get stuck in the other world? What if I never see them again? Or what if I do and they hate me?  The first thing that I can think of doing is one wiping my tears because I don't want anyone to see me in this state. Like I'd rather die. Not that wiping the tears would help disquise what is happening, since my heaves exposes it. 

The surging electricity start moving towards my palms, and a small blue hue raises from my skin. How do they even like me? The light starts to grow a bit brighter. I don't even like myself. Brighter. They have to hate me.  Brighter. 

Thought after thought consumes me, and soon the dark trees around me are fully visible. The blue light falls from my numb body and scatters towards the trees, lighting the few dry leaves on the ground on fire. Fire. I should burn. Maybe then they can all safely return home. If I die then they wont have to endanger themselves.

The fire causes smoke to fill the air drying away the damp water on the surface. I should burn. The thoughts make their way to continue, but abruptly get muffled by the faint sound of my phone ringing.

Almost immediately the fire surrounding me gets sucked into my body and the faint smell of smoke fills my nose. Hands shaking, I force myself to pick up my phone.

Its my mom. What now? What do I do? I cant tell her where I am. They will kill me. 

Small lies start forming in my frontal lobe and my hands swipe over the answer button.

Okay here goes nothing, I adjust my voice to avoid any cracks.

"Hey mom "

"Where are you! Did you really sneak out, come on Belle I thought that we could trust you. You are better than this. Tell me where you are right now, I- we are coming to get you."

"No.  well yeah, I did sneak out but I'm with Jenna and we are just having a sleepover at Millie's "

I don't even know a Millie

 "Who is Millie, and why didn't you just ask us? We were so worried, and your brothers went insane. We thought someone took you. Send the address we are in the car. "

"I'm sorry mom, I really am. I just needed a break. You know how tiring it is for me; I mean I had like 10 interviews today and I had to give everyone answers to things that I know nothing about and I never get any time for myself. I am constantly stuck with things from your lives, and it's not like you guys are even there for me, you are always busy. I need my own life. I just need a break mom please don't come, please just give me some time."

"I know sweetie, I know. It will get better. Just please be safe and come back soon. Don't stay away for too long. Three days maximum, I will talk to your dad. Just please send me updates every day and keep your location on so I know that you are alright. Otherwise, I'm sending a swat team to come and find you "

Thank goodness I talked to my mom and not my dad, he would have freaked out. 

"I will momma, I love you"

"I love you too sweetheart "

The call ends short after my mum said goodbye and my body instinctively takes a few deep breaths calming my mind and body. I have to go back soon. I have  to explain. My legs raise me from the trunk beneath me and I slowly start turning around to get back to everyone, but then the sound of footsteps stops me in my tracks. 

Small crackles beneath my skin respond immediately. But I silence them. My eyes rapidly scan the area and it didn't take long for me to see whom the sound belonged to.

Because when I look up that's when I saw him, his brown eyes meet my blue ones and I just start to pray that he doesn't see my tears or heard me cry. Or most of all I hope that he doesn't smell the faint smell of smoke and that he didn't see the fire. 

But mostly I'm surprised, because why would he come searching for me?

I feel nervousness enter my body and a breathy whisper of his name escapes my lips. His entire body turns rigid and just as I said it, I can see how his breath hitched.