Paint It Like You | Woo Do Hwan

Worry

After a small but hearty meal, Elise insisted he take a bath. The water felt soothing as he lowered himself in, the warmth sinking into his sore muscles. Closing his eyes, he let himself feel the weight of the day dissolve. His thoughts drifted, mingling with memories of his mother's face, her gentle hands, her whispering voice. It all felt like a fading dream, but the quietness around him brought a strange sense of peace.

He lay back, resting his hand on his belly. The baby stirred slightly, and he felt an odd, soft sense of companionship. He was no longer completely alone, even in his most isolated moments.

The day had been draining, and now, finally, he could feel the tension seeping out of his body, the warmth of the water easing the soreness in his limbs. He ran a hand over his belly, feeling the slight curve that he was growing more self-conscious about with each passing day.

The baby was starting to move, and every time he felt a flutter, he couldn't help but wonder what kind of future they would have together. Would they ever feel safe, secure, free? His fingers lingered over his stomach, his heart aching with both worry and hope.

Later, as he lay in bed, Elise came to check on him, poking her head through the half-open door.

"You need anything before I turn in?"

He smiled faintly. "No, I'm okay. Just... thinking."

She stepped into the room, leaning against the doorframe with an understanding expression. "Anything you want to share?"

He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. "I just... I wonder what kind of life I'll be able to give my child. I don't have anything to offer... no home, no security. Just... a father who doesn't know what he's doing."

Elise's eyes softened. "You may not have those things yet, Do Hwan, but you have something more important: the will to survive. The strength to keep going. And believe me, that's something. The rest... it'll come."

Her words sank into him, offering a comfort he hadn't known he needed. He managed a small nod, looking away as he blinked back the tears that threatened to spill.

As she turned to leave, she added softly, "Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing all you can-and that's more than enough."

~

The next morning Elise was leaving for work I'm off to work,

"Do Hwan. I'll be back later tonight," she called from the front door, grabbing her coat and bag.

He nodded from his spot on the couch, a wave of fatigue sweeping over him. "Be safe."

"Always am," she said with a smile, then paused. "And you-make sure you rest. And eat something. I don't want to come back to find you still curled up here."

He managed a soft laugh. "I'll try."

She left, and the apartment was wrapped in a silence he'd come to appreciate. Quiet had become a luxury since he'd fled North Korea, leaving behind everything familiar. Since his arrival in Belgium, he'd spent countless hours navigating endless paperwork, explaining and re-explaining himself to immigration officers who barely listened. The latest snag in his case had come when they'd asked him for evidence of his mother's death-a subject so raw he could hardly speak about it.

The thought of her brought a fresh ache to his heart. His mother had been his strength, the one who'd helped him escape across the North Korean border and then again when they had to flee the watchful eyes of the Chinese authorities. But in their harrowing journey, he had lost her, and now her absence weighed on him more heavily than ever.

His mind drifted back to the immigration office yesterday. They had handed him another set of forms and a new checklist of documents he needed to provide. The questions had felt invasive, probing into details he hadn't thought he'd have to share with strangers. One officer had leaned over, inspecting his appearance closely.

Evidence. Every aspect of his life seemed to need documentation, validation, proof of things that couldn't be photographed or signed in ink. He was so weary of proving himself over and over.

Lying back on the couch, Do Hwan traced the curve of his belly. For so long, he'd hidden the swelling, ashamed and afraid of what others might think. But Elise knew, and her acceptance had been a rare gift. He still remembered the night he'd told her, hesitantly, about the pregnancy.

Her kindness had been like a balm on an open wound.

Now, with Elise gone for the day, he found himself thinking of her words, clinging to them like a lifeline. She was the only person he could truly trust in this city of strangers, and the only person who knew the depth of his struggle.

All was quiet until... Knock, knock.

His head shot up, his heart pounding. He wasn't expecting anyone. He walked cautiously to the door and peered through the peephole.

A man in a uniform stood there, clipboard in hand.

"Do Hwan Woo?" the man called out, his voice muffled but firm. "Immigration Services. We need to speak with you."

A chill swept through him. Slowly, he opened the door, keeping his expression neutral.

"Yes?"

The officer held out a sheet of paper. "You are hereby summoned to appear at the immigration court three days from now. You'll be expected to present documentation of your background, proof of identity, and any supporting evidence regarding your claims for asylum."

He felt his stomach twist, the weight of it all crashing over him again. "I... I'll be there."

The officer nodded curtly. "Good. Bring all documentation and be prepared to answer any questions and it will be decided if you will stay in the country or be deported."

The door clicked shut as the officer left, and Do Hwan found himself alone once more, the dread seeping into his bones.

When Elise returned that night, she found him sitting in the dark, his hands clenched together as though he were holding on for dear life.

He rested a hand on his belly, feeling a strange but undeniable sensation deep within, as though the baby were gently brushing against him from inside. He took a slow, shaky breath, overwhelmed by the surreal intimacy of that touch.

"How can you be so calm?" he whispered to himself, rubbing his stomach lightly. "You're not even born yet, and already, I don't know how to protect you."

"Do Hwan? Are you alright?" she asked, her voice laced with concern.

He looked up, meeting her gaze. "They're... they're making me go to a hearing. They want proof of everything. My life, my family, even..." His voice wavered. "Even my mother's death."

Elise's face softened, and she knelt beside him. "Listen to me," she said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You've come this far. You've survived so much. I believe in you, Do Hwan. And I'm here to help you, whatever you need."

He felt the tears begin to gather, and he let them fall, one by one, each one carrying a bit of the pain he'd held back for so long.

"I just want a place to call home," he whispered.

Elise squeezed his hands. "You'll have it. We'll make sure of it. You, and that little one of yours... you're going to be alright."

For the first time in what felt like forever, he allowed himself to believe her.