The Long Haul

Chapter 34

Jay wasn't thrilled with what he'd just asked Mouse to do, but he didn't have a choice at this point. Alex had lied about so many things - money, debate team, drinking, and now drugs. He knew his friend had a valid point about this backfiring, but the alternative seemed much worse. His sister was a serious flight risk and she was running toward the bad and not the good. It was his job to protect her, and well, right now that meant a tracker on her phone.

He had no fucking idea how he was going to fix this entire situation with his sister, but he knew one thing - he needed to show Alex that he wasn't going anywhere like Erin had brought up. A few ideas swirled in his mind like a hurricane, but he had to sort out his day job first - and that meant talking to Voight and coming clean about what happened. Jay paused in the stairwell and took a deep breath, ensuring that his stoic face was ready, and then he continued upstairs to the bullpen.

Thankfully, the rest of the team had taken over the case, interrogating the suspects they arrested and piecing it all together while he was handling his own deteriorating situation. The bullpen was empty except for Sergeant Voight, who was sitting in his office, combing over some paperwork.

Jay stood in the doorway, tension radiating off him in waves and his jaw locked so tight it felt like it might crack. He rapped lightly on the door. "Sarge?"

Hank's eyebrows momentarily went up in surprise - he hadn't expected to see Jay here of all places after what had happened on the street. "Come in. Shut the door," Voight said as he motioned for Jay to enter, his voice calm but firm.

Jay stood just inside the now closed door, arms crossed, tension stiffening every muscle, his expression somewhere between fury and regret. Voight sat behind his desk, studying him in that calm, measured way that made Jay feel both seen and exposed.

Voight leaned back in his chair, folding his hands across his stomach. "I know what happened this morning," he said evenly. "Alex. The drugs." Jay's eyes darkened, his hands balling into fists. Just hearing her name in the same sentence as drugs brought all the anger he'd stored away back to the surface without warning. Voight continued, "What I don't know is what you did after."

Jay exhaled sharply through his nose in an attempt to keep his tone under control. He explained matter-of-factly, "I cuffed her and threw her in the cage."

Voight's brow lifted slightly before settling back down. He asked without judgment, "You think that's gonna help?"

Jay ran a hand through his hair, frustration pouring out of him. "I don't know. I saw her with those pills, and I just... I snapped," he confessed. "I had to do something."

"She's your sister. That complicates things." He was here to talk things through with Jay and follow his lead - this was his sister after all. However, he'd step in if he thought things were going in a direction Jay would later regret. As long as she was in the cage, it meant she hadn't been officially booked, so Voight was onboard with things so far.

Jay paced a few steps, then stopped abruptly, fists clenched. "Yeah. She didn't leave many options when she took off running. I thought... maybe it'd scare her. Knock some sense into her."

"She bought drugs," Voight said bluntly, his voice steady and validating. "That's not something you just let go."

He faced Voight, his eyes red-rimmed with exhaustion. "But what the hell am I supposed to do now? Lock her up? Pretend like I'm not her brother?"

"You're not really just her brother anymore, are you?" Hank questioned, already knowing the answer.

The question hung heavy in the air as a beat of silence let each man sorted through their internal thoughts. Voight was very methodological about things, and he didn't often offer up personal information to his team. However, seeing Jay like this...it triggered memories from years ago. And he'd put them out in the open if it meant he could help someone on his team.

"You know Erin was a mess when she came to me," Voight said quietly, pausing to ensure he had Jay's full attention. "Sixteen, living on the streets, into everything she shouldn't be, and she didn't trust anyone. She thought pushing people away was the only way to survive."

Jay's eyes softened, the weight of those words pressing down on him. When this situation died down, he'd allow himself to reflect on how hard Erin's life had been at Alex's age. But for now, he wasn't about to turn down hearing the story from the other perspective. Alex was doing the same thing as Erin - testing him, trying to prove to herself that he'd walk away just like everyone else.

Jay looked up, his eyes pained with guilt. "But... how'd you get through to her?" His voice was almost a whisper now, desperate for answers.

Voight leaned back again, exhaling slowly. "I didn't give up on her, even when it got bad. She tried everything to get me to walk away. Every time I showed up, every time I didn't turn my back on her, it chipped away at those walls she built. But it took time. A lot of time. And patience. "

"And it worked?"

"She fought us at every turn," Voight continued. "Told us she didn't need help, acted like we were the enemy. She pushed, just like Alex is pushing you. And she was good at it - better than I gave her credit for." He smirked faintly at the memory, though there wasn't much humor in it. "It wasn't about the drugs, not really. It was about not trusting anyone. She was convinced that letting someone in would hurt more than keeping them out. We didn't try to fix her - we showed her we were in it for the long haul. Even when she made it damn near impossible."

Jay's throat tightened, the reality of what Voight was saying hitting him hard. He'd been trying to break through to Alex for weeks now, but all he'd gotten in return was her sarcasm, anger, lies, and stubborn refusal to let him in.

Silence hung in the air for a moment until there was a sudden knock at the door. Without waiting to be invited in, Trudy opened the door. She looked between both men, sensing the tension dangling in the air.

"Sorry to interrupt," she said unapologetically in Trudy fashion. "Halstead, the prosecutor's office just called and they wanted me to remind you - again - that you have to testify in the Murphy case tomorrow morning downtown."

Jay slumped down onto the couch, not trusting himself to stay standing anymore. Fuck. He'd forgotten about that entirely. He'd been called to testify in one of the larger drug cases they wrapped up months ago - and of course, of all days, it was tomorrow. Fan-fucking-tastic. He ran an exhausted hand down his face and turned to Platt. "Yeah, roger that. I'll be there."

"Good." Trudy nodded in approval without taking her eyes off Jay's knuckles. "And when you're back, you can fix my bulletin board," she quipped before closing the door.

At the mention of the object he'd punched, Jay quickly shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, trying to mask his frustration. Voight barely had a chance to press him on it before an idea sparked in Jay's mind, taking shape with unexpected clarity. He suddenly knew just how to show Alex he wasn't going anywhere - how to hopefully make her believe it.

"Sarge, do you have a judge that owes you a favor?" Jay asked uncharacteristically as he gazed at the floor.

Voight stared at him for a moment, unsure where this was heading. "Depends. What do you need done?"

Jay looked up, and for the first time this morning, there was a glimmer of hope behind his eyes.

A/N: What does Jay have up his sleeve now? hehe....I promise it'll all come together in a few chapters!