MIRRORBALL ; QUINN HUGHES

Twenty nine

look me in the eyes ; rex orange county + james blake

QUINN - FIVE YEARS LATER

I adjusted my tie as I smoothed my hands over the tailored suit. I could feel my heart beating in my chest as I stared at myself in the mirror.

I should be static, this was supposed to be the happiest day of your life; your wedding day. But, I couldn't shake the numbness running through my veins.

In ten minutes I was supposed to stand on the alter and wait for my future wife to come walking towards me.

And I couldn't shake the feeling. A feeling I've had for five years. It hadn't lessened, it hadn't gotten easier. I still felt empty.

"You good, bud?" Jack knocked on the door, a grin on his lips as he joined me. "What's going through your head, Quinney? Nervous?"

It was so much more than that. I shook my head, forcing a dry laugh. "Yeah. Just really nervous."

"You're gonna be fine." Jack adjusted my collar. "It'll work out. It always does."

Jack knew deep down that I wasn't nervous. He knew the real reason why I was internally crumbling. But neither of us said it out loud. It was just easier that way.

"Alright, Quinn." My father knocked on the doorway, capturing our attention. Luke stood beside him, shooting me a small smile. "Let's do this thing."

I nodded, taking one more glance at myself in the mirror before I walked out of the dressing room. I walked past the people in the white chairs, feeling their eyes glued to me as I made it up the alter.

My head was spinning as I could feel the presence of those around me caving in on me.

I picked my head at the sound of the low piano music and small gasps around me.

Emma, my soon to be wife, walking down the aisle. She was vibrant, her dark hair tied up as her father walked her down, her bright smile beaming towards me.

I couldn't fake it even if I wanted to. I stared at her blankly. And that's when the guilt began to weigh in as she kissed her father on the cheek and stood before me.

Her teary eyes as she took my hands in hers. She glanced at the priest.

"Quinn." She muttered, rubbing her thumb along my knuckles but I could barely feel it. I was frozen.

"Emma and Quinn, are you ready to proclaim that foundation of love for one another?" The priest took me out of my daze and I missed the first part of his speech.

Emma nodded, as did I. I couldn't breathe, my palms were growing sweaty as I squeezed her hands harder.

"Emma, do you take Quinn to be your lawfully wedded husband?" The priest asked.

Emma's lips quirked as she stared at me with her doe eyes. "I do."

Quinn, breathe. I repeated over and over again, feeling the pressure in my chest rising. I was in full panic attack mode, I couldn't focus on anything but the thumping in my chest.