Chapter I

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Figure Skating has been and always will be a cruel and gut-wrenching sport

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Figure Skating has been and always will be a cruel and gut-wrenching sport. Not only to the internationally ranked but heavily injured skaters but also the thousands upon thousands of skaters who never get to reach that goal.

Especially on the Russian circuit where the competition was now more cutthroat than ever before, and Esme knew that feeling more than anyone. Her one and only thing had always been skating ever since her mother had decided to put a pair of skates on her feet for the first time.

When Esme was three her dad had passed and her mother who had always dreamt of being a figure skater herself before falling pregnant with her daughter decided to move from the country they once called home back to her motherland where she put a pair of skates on her daughter as quickly as possible and later on discarding her daughter all together. That was how Esme had ended up skating in Pyeongchang in 2018, just days before turning 18 herself for the team that was now called Olympic Athletes from Russia with Sambo 70 under her rather infamous coach Eteri Tutberidze. All that, her entire life mapped out in such a way just because her mother had fallen in love with a man called Daniil who didn't like children and gave her mother the courage to send her only daughter away at the age of eight to her coach's house.



A loud beep came from Eme's Dexcom that was stuffed inside her sports bra since she didn't have any pockets on her leggings. It had not only startled her, causing her to wake up from her zoned-out state whilst watching Alina do run-throughs of her entirely backloaded free program Don Quixote but had gotten her coach's attention who was animatedly waiting for her to turn it off even though it only had beeped for about two seconds. So she did exactly that, she jumped down from where she was sitting on the boards of the practice rink and skated off the ice to heighten her blood sugar.

They had been in Pyeongchang for a few days now, everyone getting ready for the competition and today the men would be doing their free programs, something everyone was excited to see. Especially Esme and Alina who had agreed to watch at least the last group of skaters if they could get away from their coach quickly enough. But that would probably not happen, always when the two girls had something planned, it seemed like their coach could sus it out and go over their allotted training time.

"Jacques!" A rather loud russian voice boomed backstage. It was Tamara, Tamara Volkov, a coach who spent most of her time on Esme. "What are you still doing here? Go back to your room, take a warm shower, eat something and take care of yourself."

Tamara had been the first one to notice how Esme had started to change after her first big injury last year. How she had been rapidly losing weight, something she had been very opposed to due to her having diabetes even though it was how most of Eteris girls had gotten their jumps. How she had started to favour her left side instead of her right when standing, walking or skating. Or how she had started to tape her feet, knees and hips as well as wearing dance toe pads under her socks in an attempt to alleviate the pain, or even how the smallest of touches had caused her to bruise easily.

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