My One Helluva Life with Her (Male Human Reader x Loona the Hellhound)

The Helluva Behind the Hazbin PILOT (Part 1)

The train to Pentagram City is still setting off along the tracks across the countrysides of what is now known to Y/n as Hell.

He still sits at the bar in the buffet car looking through the windows, staring out into what is a surprisingly beautiful view of said countryside, as he sits next to the wise old bum as he smokes a bubblegum cigar.

He stuffs a gram of the spat-out bubble from eating the gum into the rolling paper and takes a puff of the candied drug before blowing out the pink smoke.

BUM: "Wanna puffy?"

Y/N: "No thanks. I don't smoke."

BUM: "What? You're not a drinker AND a smoker? Sad life you must be leading."

Y/N: "For your information, I'm a P-plater."

BUM: "At least you get to live from three things related to death. You do know you can't get lung cancer in Hell, right?"

Y/N: (inside his head) "What the fuck, is that possible?" *out loud* "No, just goddamn it, no. I can't do it."

BUM: "Why not? You a driver or a puss?"

Y/N: "I'm both those things, combined into the type of creature who is still cursed with the chance of lung cancer!"

Y/n then pulls off his hoodie to reveal his face to the bum, which doesn't leave him stunned at first.

BUM: "Hmm. You're a brave one. Who knew your demon form would look so much like your human one." *eats the cigar*

Y/n then facepalms in annoyance.

Y/N: "No... well... take a good guess at why."

BUM: "Oh... I see... that is actually very surprising."

Y/N: "Why... thank you?"

BUM: "What's a living one doing down here in the living dead?"

Y/N: "That, my friend, if you were my friend, involves a story of questioning my existence, family drama, and a hotel with a shit-crazy swimming pool."

BUM: "So if I combine those together... you arrived here from a hotel you were staying at to get away from your family?"

Y/N: "Huh. You're quite street-smart for a demon, aren't ya? ...A-And, I'm not just saying that because... you know."

BUM: "Ah, no offence taken. I mean, I've come to learn that once you've died as a human, down here, you remember the tricks you've made and learnt as you lived. Because after the last one, the thinking stops."

Y/N: "Evidently not. I mean, down here, it looks like you guys are capable thinkers. I think demons are just as smart as my kind are."

BUM: (Surprisingly... surprised) "You really think so?"

Y/N: "Well, yeah. I've always wanted a demon as a friend since I turned 18, and having witnessed what I just witnessed... I could get used to having you as my first one after all. If you'll let me."

BUM: "Then I guess the next... 37 minutes of this train ride should get us quite acquainted."

The two then shake hands before Y/n takes a couple more deep breaths as he skulls down a drink of strawberry milk.

BUM: "Christ-on-a-stick, I know heavy breathing whenever I drink. At least, 6 hours after I drink. You okay?"

Y/N: "I'm okay. I'm okay." *breathes again* "It's just... you wanna know another reason I'm heading to this... place you described as the Happy Hotel? Family drama AND a fucking werewolf that just tried to kill me."