Sunlight

Chapter Nine

How Soon Is Now? // The Smiths

Kyra

Pete and I march up to the guys cabin, hand in hand. I'm only half surprised to see Jeff standing on the porch, arms crossed waiting for us. His eyes track us the entire way. Nope, this is not uncomfortable at all.

"Alison called," he says as we climb the steps. "Said you were on your way and I was to behave." He puts "behave" in air quotes.

I sense Pete steeling himself for a fight with my brother, the one he's been avoiding for four years. His arm stiffens against mine even as his hold on my hand remains gentle. I glance up at him, ready to get this over with. At least there won't be any hiding afterwards.

"I left my football scholarship behind at Fallbrook to play baseball back east."

"Old news man. I was there." Jeff runs a hand through his hair.

"But that wasn't the real reason. It was an excuse."

"What was the real reason?"

"Not what, who. Kyra."

Jeff raises a brow, clearly imagining some kind of secret hook up between us. I squeeze Pete's hand hoping he clears it up before I have to. Not really excited to talk to my brother about what I have and haven't done behind closed doors.

"Nothing happened back then," Pete clarifies.

I clear my throat.

"Well, I kissed her." Pete looks at me. "We kissed and I knew I was screwed. A simple kiss unleashed everything I'd been holding back for over a year. Every draw and desire. And every bitter thought toward you and Matt."

"What did I ever do to you?"

"Nothing. I was my own worst enemy." He admits. "But I saw you with your perpetual smile, even when everything around you was a complete dumpster fire." Pete shakes his head as he looks down at his feet, shuffling his foot in the dirt. "Matt ruled over us with an iron fist. Dictating what we did, who we saw, taking any girl he felt he deserved."

"Speak for yourself," Jeff huffs.

Pete's head snaps up. "What?"

Jeff moves down the steps toward us as he continues. "Matt didn't rule what I did. I wasn't trying to get his approval on my choices. He was an ass back then, and he had his day of reckoning."

He pauses as we all remember Matt's change from the high school bully to the calm and understanding husband and father he is today. None of us knew about his home life, how his father had manipulated his entire family. Matt's behavior back then was collateral damage. But he's come so far since then.

So has Pete. And Jeff should recognize that.

Before I can say anything, Pete speaks.

"You're right."

Jeff stops. "I don't...I don't think I've ever heard those words out of your mouth."

Pete blows out a breath. "I let Matt get to me. But we were kids, and I didn't have the kind of support at home you did." He looks over at me, a wistful smile on his face. "But I spent the last three years taking down the wall that kept me from any kind of happiness. I removed myself from all the things that put me there; my friends," he ticks the list off with his fingers as he says them, "parties, girls. Even football became an issue because I was playing with you. So I dropped it completely, flew to the other side of the country to make baseball and school my only focus."

"Sounds like you've been a monk." Jeff says the words but clearly doesn't mean them.

"Basically."

"Come on, you were a player to the max. You were probably the worst one of the group."